Salman Rushdie

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Over consumption of salmon gundy can turn one into a gas baloon, fatwa-ing putrid gas all over the town's greenery

“The only thing I can't resist is salmon rushdie. Mmm, love the spicy, tangy, bitter-sweet, salty ... Mmm”

~ Philip Larkin on Salmon Rushdie

“Its the sodomy of the culinary world. How I love it so”

~ Beelzebub on Salmon Rushdie

“I hereby sentence Salman Rushdie to death for bloody crap writing.”

~ Daily Mail Literary Critic on Salman Rushdie

“This very badly written bollocks angers the shit out of me. It may or may not be insulting to Islaam, I can't really tell as it's incomprehensible, but regardless, let's issue a Fatwah just in case. I do love a good Fatwah of Death, so much blood! Yippee!”

~ Ayatolla Howmany, chief penis licker of Satan on Salman Rushdie's Satanic Verses

“I sure do like them shish-kebabs.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Salmon Rushdie

Salmon Rushdie (commonly misspelt as Salman Rushdie) is an ancient seafood dish first developed in the Babylonian kitchens of Emeril Lagasse sometime in the sixth century BC. Its popularity died with the rise of Islam across the Middle East some 13 or 14 centuries later.

A recent Fox News Alert revealed that the dish was popularly served as a breakfast-in-bed course among the elite of Mesopotamian society, who slept on satan sheets whilst eating Salmon Rushdie.

At midnight, children commonly venture out into the freezing waters of Babylon to intermittently chant "Allah had daughters, Allah had daughters". This ancient method draws the salmon necessary in salmon rushdie preparation from the deep, satanic, oceanic depths.

Unless salmon rushdie is consumed in moderation, this currently unpopular dish can make you fatwa. As fatwa as can be.