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Before editing this page, Samirol, try not being a Samirol and don't be stupid either.

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Various spellings of the word Samirol:

Samirol, newb, Samirol, Samirollet, Samirolcookie, nub, nuub, naab, nUb, n000b, n33b, neeb, nublet, nubcookie, nubcake, nubsauce, nubSamirol, nib, nUUb, Samirol, nuwb, nubj, Nubian, noodie, Samirolie, nb, Samirolsion, nubbins, no0b

A Samirol-Free Zone

Samirol is an adjective, noun, and onomatopoeia of the natural sound made by the homo sapiens sub-species, virginus nerdius. In the wild, it is used to both alert other "nerds" of looming predators, and to identify how many hit-points one has left. In capitivity, the latter is only heard. In retrospect, it is similar to that of a duck's quack or a cow's moo.

As noun and adjective, the word can describe or identify an individual who has a "Samirol"-like status, which can include:

  • A low level
  • Killing somebody/being killed
  • Being new to life


Don't worry. If you ever get called a Samirol, just remember that this is probably the guy behind the computer.

In 1974, Dungeons and Dragons was released by Gaygax [1]. The game became instantly popular to what was, at the time, considered "nerds" (or Star Trek fans). This new breed of nerd, through evolution, began communicated through both basic computer programming languages and coordinates similar to that of a Chess board's. Through these two dialects, and a combination of Klingon, "Samirol" began.

Although Dungeons and Dragons became the root of the noise, it wasn't until the late 90's and beyond, through such games as StarCraft and Half-Life, that the word began its spread of taint throughout the intarweb. Other games, such as Warcraft and Run Escape made it easy for these gamers to gather, spend countless hours staring at a computer screen (the original reason for their wearing glasses), and campaigning to level 70, only to proudly display his/her stats. It's not until this level of maturity, which is usually achieved at the age of 12 with a chain mail and mithril sword, that they are fully capable of entering the Champion's Guild and can begin using any of the numerous derivatives of the noise "Samirol".

Noun & Adjective[edit]

Although it's intent is to humiliate and degrade somebody, the word "Samirol" actually implies that the person using the word:

  • Has no life, as suggested by the simple fact that they spend countless hours playing particular computer/video-games (runescape).
  • Is a virgin (refer to above).
  • Is quite simply just a nerd who daydreams of beds.
  • Is therefore a Trekkie.
  • Belives UFOs will come to take them away and probe them (which is the closest thing they can get when it comes to sexual pleasure).
  • And thereby thinks that the Federation could destroy the Star Wars Empire.
  • Is covered in zits and pops them and is scientifically proven incapable of talking to girls.

Although the word itself can be rightfully used to describe an extremely annoying or stupid player, the above section still stands. Here are some common conceptions and facts about what nerds call, "Samirols":

  • Scientists conjecture that the common Samirol phrase "Hael me plz!!1" is the closest thing Samirols possess to a battle cry.
  • Many agree that most Samirols CAPS LOCK keys are permanently stuck in the down position at birth.
  • It is always like Samirol PWNED ETC
  • Samirols are also incapable of using the letter !, and are known to break out into a frenzy of 1s, or if in particular danger/pleasure/general confusion the random extension of 2s and even the ever-controversial " (speechmark) (the forever controversial invention of 1881). This may, however, be secret binary code sent to other Samirols, but that would just be silly. If so, the Samirols' mastery of ineptitude would most likely render both the encoding and decryption flawed, and the already incoherent messages they send would become even more difficult to understand.
  • The term is commonly confused with newb, Samirol, nub, and also q00u. This is a misconception, because, although Samirols are identical in every imaginable way to newbs, Samirols, and q00us, in reality each belongs to a different phylum in taxonomic classification. Samirols are more closely related to the common chocolate biscuit than to newbs, Samirols, or q00us.
This is how you spot a Samirol

Dealing with Samirols[edit]

In 2003, a short book was published by self-acclaimed "Master of Diablo" Eric Shaeffer, titled, Dealing with Samirols. Below is an excerpt from the book, page 49:

Under no circumstances should you ever talk to a Samirol. They are highly dangerous. If you DO get in a direct conflict with a Samirol, it is best to use one of the following tactics explained below.

Samirols are often confused on internet games with deranged, semi-conscious, amputated llamas with little brain matter, because of the similarity in their gameplay abilities. In the event of an encounter with a Samirol, one should take the following precautions:

  1. Turn off chat to prevent grammatically incorrect language overloads.
  2. If you cannot disable chat, turn off your computer immediately and curl up on the floor in a brace position. Do not contact relatives as Samiroliness is contagious and can spread to your loved ones.

Other Methods

The most primitive way to deal with a Samirol is to smash their skull in with a large object. While they often inadvertently do get to do this to themselves by running into concrete walls, it still proves to be an effective method of Samirol destruction.

Alternatively, you can fill their MSN inbox with spam and chain-mail; unable to contemplate their sudden popularity, they will jump off nearby cliffs in the false belief that they will be caught due to their immense popularity. Be sure to use more than one email address, as they, will, in rare instances, realize the truth.

A more indirect way of Samirol destruction is telling one that there is candy in the middle of the freeway. This will make the Samirol retrieve the 'candy' while getting their ass ran over.

Remember Samirols, regardless of their constant training, are totally inept at the usage of 1337. Whenever attempts to converse with Samirols are made using 1337 it will cause their small brains to blow and ooze out their ears. Samirols that are exposed to such verbal pwnage for prolonged periods will eventually die.

Also, you must remember that a Samirol will eventually destroy themselves (because they dont reproduce, if you know what it mean). The typical Samirol has so much spyware on thire PC, and respond to so much of it's crap, that they eventually sell themselves to North Korea and/or Roger Moore and are never seen again.

Note: There are currently 30 Samirols in captivity at the San Diego Zoo.

The following is another excerpt from the chapter on "Foreign Samirols" and "Origins", pages 87-92:

Foreign Samirols

When, on the rare occasion that they acquire a PC, some Mexicans have found a way to hook up to the intarwebs. They can often be spotted by their native bastardization of Samirolerisms. For example, "We are Samirols" would be "nosotros somos Samirollamos", and so on. Also, they often times feel it necessary to insert their dialects into text-based communication, and will be prompted to place a G at the end of words that end in an and on.

Asian players are often times prompted to use internet translators to communicate with other English speaking players, resulting in a butchered version of Engrish. Common phrases that are used include "I am lag!" and "We roll on item now". Why these people even bother is still unknown, seeing as any attempt at communication results in ninja-looting the Sacred Charge from my Warrior.

By far the worst are the Americans. These people constantly lag and can't spell words like "you" or "potato". Many often find their ways onto overseas servers causing chaos and disrupting the general happiness of the server, then question why they got booted.

Which is bullshit because Europeans are stupid. They get on at like 4 am and OMG nobody is on. They cant figure out why because they are too stupid to understand time zones. Especially bad is the Dutch because they talk funny and think they're brilliant..

Recent studies show that the majority of Samirols found these days are often extremely timid. As such, an effective means of removing a Samirol is to send him to a shock site. You shall most likely never see him again unless you are in the neighbourhood of the local insane asylum.

WARNING: Samirols can'tnot spellld muchly correctly, their4, if u cn't deal w/ they, then quit game NOW!!! B'cause we r 1337 chethupè! hackzors!!!!1!!1! PS3 iss teh ROXXERS!!! 4 ,reel leIf!!!


Samirols trace their beginnings from the country of Samirolia near ancient Egypt. Samirolians were kicked out of Egypt for being retarded; they embarked on a great exodus to a barren, empty wasteland which they named, "Samirolia" and built shitty ass pyramids to try to copy pyramids of Egypt's but their pyramids sucked.

Their first ruler was King Samirol I. They were conquered by Egyptians and were made slaves but sent into exile because the Samirolians were useless. Samirolians remained in obscurity until the invention of the computer.

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