Santa's Toy Shop

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This state of the art weapons-research and manufacturing facility located at the North Pole is a State-Run business venture of the Duchy of the Arctic Circle. Established by Santa Claus on July 4, 1914, Santa jokingly called his cache of weapons “The Toys,” deadpanning that he intended to bring them for all the world's children to play with. Elves began to sardonically refer to the Weapons plant as the “Toy Shop,” and in 1920, the name was made official. Today, Santa’s Toy Shop is the most advanced munitions factory in the world, producing up to 500 small arms, 100 heavy assault weapons, 75 Black-Ops projects, and 5,000 gifts per day.

The University of The North Pole was dropped on Santa's Toy Shop in 1780 A.C., causing minor damage to several windows and killing one-third of the workforce. Citing its new 'hidden, structurally-reinforced position', Santa Claus declined to move his base of operations. Santa's Toy Shop now operates out of the basement of the University, and has supplied UTNP with enough weapons to defend the world from aliens, which are speculated to be long overdue.

Workforce[edit]

All year long, Santa's elves cheerily design and build a variety of increasingly advanced deadly weapons, singing happy songs and eating ever-so-delightful foods. These weapons have been donated to terrorists, allies, and the Bush Administration, although the finest and deadliest weapons are reserved for Santa's personal armory, and it is from this supply that Santa's deadly, once-yearly attack on the world is armed. Some parts of his production facilities have been closed down by the Elfin Safety Executive. A major rebuilding project is programmed for 2020 due to the gradual breaking-up of the Arctic shelf as mean global temperatures increase. This report indicates the scale of the threat: http://blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com/valleyfever/2009/12/global_warming_threatens_santa.php

Products Line[edit]

Three standard Sugarplum grenades. Photo Courtesy of the Santa's Toy Shop annual catalogue

Some more famous products of the Toy Shop include:

  • Sugarplums.

So called because of their famous resemblance to cherries, these small, rounded grenades are known for their wide blast radius and ease of use. They're popular with terrorists, insurgent rebels, and postal workers worldwide. These deadly minibombs have been linked to numerous deadly acts, most notoriously to the Smurfist Rebels of central Russia.

  • Mrs Claus

Mrs Claus, (sometimes rendered as "The Missus") is the slang term for the famous M-16 (Merrygun 16), the standard issue assault rifle used by the Duchy's Dasher, Prancer and Donner divisions. Well known for being durable, compact and easy to use, the M-16 is the cornerstone of the Duchy's arms exportation business. Most famously, they are the preffered weapon of Smurfist rebels. More recently they've been widely praised by both Terra-ist weather and environmental condtions-based sects, and shock troops of the Caribbean Area Fear and Terror Alliance, who have used them to brutally suppress dissent in the Mickey Mouse Club.