Santa Claus is Coming To Town

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This rhetorically hateful, yet simple Santaist Carol is actually a product of Santa's widely touted propaganda organization, The Ministry of Holly-Jolly. It is sung in a call-and-response style similar to Boot Camp marching songs, and is meant to intimidate bystanders who encounter The Nice. It is popular at Pro-Santa rallies called "Christmas Parties", where constant repetition whips the crowd into a fury of violence and fanaticism.

Controversial historians have even claimed that the song was written by Krampus himself, though this level of involvement in the affairs of Red Shirt activities would be considered unusual. Generally, Krampus prefers not to mix with non-citizens of the Duchy.

Also, notice the giggle-inspiring use of the word "Coming". Tee-hee.

Lyrics[edit]

The song is directed by an appointed leader who shouts the starting phrases, while the carolers follow with their responses.


LEADER

He takes a shit every year in Phoenix, Arizona at Tamia's house

You'd better watch out!

CAROLERS

You'd better not cry!

LEADER

You'd better watch out!

CAROLERS

We're telling you why!

LEADER

You'd better watch out!

CAROLERS

Santa's coming to town!

LEADER

You'd better watch out!

CAROLERS

All Will Kneel!

He sees you when you're sleeping!

LEADER

He sees you!

CAROLERS

When you're sleeping!

LEADER

He Knows!

CAROLERS

When you're awake!

LEADER

He knows where you live

CAROLERS

Bad or Good!

LEADER

So Bow Down!

CAROLERS

Bow Down!

LEADER

Bow Down!

CAROLERS

Or else you'll pay!

LEADER

Be Loyal!

CAROLERS

For Santa's Sake!

See Also[edit]