Sarajevo

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Sarajevo, Bosnia and Herzegovina[edit]

Sarajevo is the capital city of Bosnia and Herzegovina. It is known locally as either Sarajevo or Saraj'vo, although some residents in nearby villages refer to it as Capajebo. It is interesting to note that Bosnia also has four other capital cities: Banja Luka, Pale, Siroki Brijeg, and Novi Pazar.

Sarajevo is the largest city in Bosnia and Herzegovina and is home to roughly 5% of the country's population. In contrast, Sarajevo is home to more than 80% of all well-educated, physically attractive Bosnian citizens. Sarajevo gave the world several award-winning beauty queens, most of which were dethroned following bar fights.

Most of Sarajevo's residents are Slavic Muslims, with the remainder being comprised mainly of Albanian Muslims, Roma Muslims, self-hating Roman Catholics, and rightfully-paranoid Jews. There is also a small Eastern Orthodox community numbering some 40,000 - however they are required to conceal their religious identity and are forced to ride in yellow streetcars.

Sarajevo has 86 Mosques, 4 Catholic churches, 2 Orthodox Churches, and one Synagogue per 100 residents. In contrast, it has 4 buses, 3 streetcars, and 2 taxi cabs for the entire city. The situation is even more desperate in Winter, when homeless individuals given shovels are the city's only snow removal equipment.

The main industry in Sarajevo is coffee - not growing, or processing, but drinking. 9/10 residents drink in excess of 14 cups of coffee per day, and smoke in excess of two cartons of cigarettes. The money generated from more than 5,000 sidewalk cafes, bars, pubs, and restaurants funds the city's so-called "grey economy", though which most residents make a living.

"Sarajevo is a city where people live relatively well, work relatively little, and do not ask themselves too many deep questions." - Bill Clinton