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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article very remotely related to James "Sawyer" Ford.

James "Sawyer" Ford is a character from the television series Lost as shown by fictional television company ABC.

Early Life[edit]

Sawyer began life living in a small wooden hut somewhere in the deep south of the USA. It was here that he developed his fear of frogs and other amphibians. He was a good natured boy with many credentials including the ability to pretend not to care until the last possible moment but then actually care.

He is some dude in my German class that has a crush on Josh.

His father, Henry Ford, was famous for many discoveries and inventions but Sawyer had no interest in science or engineering whatsoever. His mother, Francis Ford Coppola, had connections in the media and it was she who got his career started.

However both his parents were turned into frogs by a disgruntled Fairy Godmother.

Whoever edited this is a giant sack of mashed up crotch rot...

TV and Film[edit]

Sawyer's first film was relatively unknown outside Earth but received major acclaim from critics when it was first released.

Swayer first came to fame in the hit TV show, The Wombles and since joining Lost he has been offered to don the big brown suit once again for the hollywood remake of the show. Sawyer has been said to have been interested but so far nothing official has been decided.


In Lost Sawyer plays himself but uses the voice of Harrison Ford to say his lines.

  • Sawyer has to wear glasses because he can't see.

Another character, Sayid, makes Sawyer some glasses out of his own spit and urine and Sawyer wears them with pride.

  • Sawyer and Jack

Sawyer has to keep away from Jack's sexual advances during the show. Sawyer's refusal to surrender to Jack is the reason why Jack has to cry so much.

  • Walt

Walt and Sawyer have a strange relation Walt is a prostitute whos married to his father and sawyer is a con man. Sawyer likes to chase walt around the beach trying to give him money to have sex with him for his dog. Walt is also the party planner and regularly hosts orgys on the beach with the others that is why he was kidnapped.

An Incomplete List of Nicknames Sawyer has given to peoples[edit]

"Doctor Giggles" for Jack

"Freckle-faced Fart Machine" for Kate

"Captain Falaffel" for Sayid

"Captain Arab" for Sayid

"Al Jazeera" for Sayid

"Beach ball" for Claire

"Frodo Baggins" for Charlie

"Grape Ape" for Hurley

"Avalanche" for Hurley

"Crouching Tiger and Hidden Dragon" for Sun, Moon and Jin

"Jackass" for Jack

"Bad Driver" for Jin

"Crybaby" for Jack

"Bony" for Kate

"Chicken eater" for Walt

"Harold Holt" for Walt

Death and Embalming[edit]

Saywer has not died or been embalmed as of yet.