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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article very remotely related to Scarface.

Scarface is a film based on the success of Tony Alabama (played by Steve Carrel), a political prisoner of Cuba, who eats to much fucking octopus and is highly addicted to kitten huffing. The film begins with Tony Alabama being violently interrogated by two immigration officers. After one of the officers attempts to fondle Tony's genitalia, Tony responds with the famous line: "What the fuck is wrong with this guy meng?" Tony is later released upon agreeing to never speak of the bizarre event.

Tony and best friend Manny Rivera receive their green cards after winning a game of dominoes with Emilio Rebenga who at the moment was constipated and could not focus on the game clearly. Rebenga stabbed himself to death after realizing he had lost.

After Tony and Manny move to Miami they start working for Frank George Lopez. Frank George Lopez discovers a homosexual desire for Tony and attempts to have Tony assassinated after he refuses to engage in homosexual acts. When Tony discovers Frank's attempts he confronts Frank, who at the time was busy masturbating to a Cat Fancy magazine. Tony, outraged that Lopez would do this, proceeds to violently rape Lopez. When Tony finishes raping Lopez he discovers that Lopez had died in the process and that he had raped Lopez in the presence of Mel Bernstein who found himself traumatized at what he had seen. Alabama then kills Bernstein so that no witnesses survive. After this Tony claims Lopez's empire and girlfriend Hancock. Tony tries many times to have a baby with Handjob but Hancock turns out to be a man. Despite knowing this Tony continues trying to sleep with Handjob. While at a restaurant with Manny and Hancock, Tony, already high on the souls of kittens and drunk, starts complaining about Hancock's infertitilty. Hancock, ashamed and angry, crashes through the roof and exits the building in tears. After this incident Tony goes to his mansion and continues huffing the souls of kittens. At that moment dozens of armed tax collectors were entering his house in hopes of savagely beating him into paying taxes. After discovering this, Tony challenges the tax collectors (who are outside his door) by saying "You wanna pley rough? Okay.. Say Hello to my little friend!!" At that moment a Leperchaun enters armed with an arsenal of weapons and massacres all of the tax collectors. Tony who refuses to allow the Leperchaun to take all the credit proceeds to kill him but the Lepercaun had spider-senses and dodged the bullets. The Leperchaun then blew Tony up with a grenade launcher and sent him flying into a pool of shit. The movie then ends with Tony's lifeless body floating in the pool.

he loves to fuck men

Things we now know[edit]

But one thing is definite, and that is that the main character, Tony Montana, is seriously really very well tougher than you could know, should be on mortal combat, beats up his sister and might beat you up with his welsh accent.

Michelle Pfiefer/Fifa/Hot Bitch is asking to be shagged throughout the whole film, and when she is she is ungrateful about it, even though she is a wet sex doll tramp, and a total blonde tart. Her favourite food is cinder toffee.

Tony Montana is man plus balls in a 1:1.1 ratio, and because of this he can be referred to as mainly balls and some man; balls with a man; a walking talking penis; or even balls with legs, arms and a head. Due to this fact, one could say he has more balls than originally thought, since having so much balls increases pain risk, and so a paradox is reached in which if balls is equivalent to bravery plus some residual balls, then their exact size cannot be defined with basic numbers, but only magic numbers. The film depicts this fact throughout.

Another widely believed theory is that Tony has tiny kiddie boy balls and is bluffing. Which is a sufficient explanation since you never get to see his balls in the film.

Either way, it is unwise to:

  • Offend Tony by walking away from him when he is in the bath;
  • Call him a donkey twat;
  • Slap his monkey with yours during music;
  • Offend his dead parents:
  • Tickle his scarface and his scarred balls;
  • Assume balls are unimportant when around him;
  • Attempt to get both of his balls in your mouth;
  • Perform oral rape on him;
  • Urinate in his beverage when he can see you;
  • or call him a family abandoning woman beating gash faced pig-rapist manwhore to his balls.
  • When he says "Say hello to my little friend" he doesn't mean his gun....
  • DO NOT sleep with his sister
  • DO NOT marry his sister
  • Dont ask about his father cause you know he never had one

hhghjhjhjhjmkhlk A filmologist has outright guessed that in the entire film, which is well over 1000 word-seconds long, there are exactly 4.3 references to snakes on a plane, and more drugs than the police thought existed. It is fact however that there are not enough naked scenes in the film, and no japanese dialogues, which may or may not be partially due to socio-poltical-religious-protoliberal racism or other homosexual reasons. It is widely believed that flaccid fest is a funny, but incorrect description of the final scene.

The most famous phrase in the film is "say hello to my little friend", which could be interpreted as "heeeheee shamone mofo i'm gonna kill ya backside you MUG" or even, and more commonly, "se h'o' t' ma lil' fwe'", which is the most famous quote and the main reason for the film's fame, and also the most ambiguous set of monkey sluts ever to exist. It could also be a very honest sexual invitation about his manly vag.

Uses of the film[edit]

The film, paticularly in DVD form, is a classic for school studies, since its morals and messages are useful for young children. For example, the entire film is about why balls are good and the most important thing in the universe. It teaches you that if you tailgate in new york, then a hit squad of long-haired mexican trannies will play guns in your house and a sunglass-wearing shotgun-wielding robot will shoot in the back; to smell your flour before you bake your bread; and that if you make too much money you will pretty much end up getting screwed in some way. The only problem is that you must be high on coffee to stay awake long enough to realise that cocaine is not actually the way forward.

Spin offs[edit]

There was a spin off the film Scarface called "Fatface" the main man of the film is called kashif montanna were it start off making your own brand "Burger King" and work your way up until people from McDonalds come in and try to kill your empire but then you get out your machine gun and start trying to shoot everyone but the movie is ended suddenly when you are shot dead by all the people from McDonald