Scarlett Johansson

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Scarlett Johansson.

“Now, I would rather be her than be myself....”

~ A Straight Man on Scarlett Johansson

Scarlett Johansson is an American RED HOT chick. Many humans of the male persuasion say she is the number one rival of Alessandra Ambrosio.

Personal Life Story[edit]

As you will find out, in the "Trivia" section, ..........

She's Best At....[edit]

File:Scarlett Johansson 630233.jpg
Scarlett thinking about how she is going to avoid getting raped on the streets.

Giving Head; a.k.a. Giving A Blow Job. Scarlett Johansson gives advice (about how to suck cock), in her own words: "Giving head is something you have to learn from actually doing it. You can read how-tos and tips but only when you actually apply it does your ability show. First, you need to be enthusiastic. If you hate giving head or don't want to do it you're not going to be good at it. If you're afraid that your bad at performing fellatio don't worry, it'll come eventually (pun intended). Getting down there is a common question. There are a thousand situations you could be in and I couldn't possibly cover them all so I'll go over the most common: laying down on the couch/bed. You're making out, groping, moaning, and you want to go down on him. You don't just want to tear his pants off and jump down there (Although sometimes that's totally acceptable). You want to be suave and sensual. You have to be on top, if you're on the bottom, roll over so you're on top. Move your hands up his shirt, rub his chest with one hand while rubbing his dick (through his pants) with the other. While your doing this, his shirt should slowly be coming off. Most likely he'll take his own shirt off, if not, take it off for him. Move down and kiss his neck, gentle biting and licking should get him hard as a rock. When you go to unzip his pants, it's better to just sit up and look to see what you're doing. That way, he can help if he thinks you're having trouble. Attempting to unbuckle a belt for 10 minutes is a mood killer. Once you get it out, go back to kissing, biting the neck, suck and lick nipples and make your way down. Kiss down his stomach while using you hands on his chest and dick. Tada! You're there! So you have it in your hand and you face is right there... what do you do now? Lick the head. I don't mean lap like a dog. Be seductive. Swirl it around the tip, lick the ridge of the glands. Make out with it while pumping gently with your hand. After a few seconds of this put the head in your mouth. Suck gently and make sure your tongue is moving the entire time. Remember, there's no such thing as too much saliva; it should be lubrication for your hand. Your hand should act an as an extension to your mouth; make sure when you're going down with your mouth, your hand's going the same way. Keep a rhythm. Cup his balls in your other hand and caress. Move your head in a figure 8 while pumping up and down. Remember to use your tongue and gently suck. If you think you're going to gag, take it out and start licking and kissing the sides and head till the feeling subsides. If you can deepthroat, this would be the time to do it. After pumping up and down for a while, move to his balls. Lick `em, suck `em (NO BITING) while jacking him off. In one motion lick up from his balls, all the way up the shaft and deepthroat. That's one they always like. Another good move is to penetrate your mouth with his dick. Close your lips tight around your teeth and slowly push his dick in your mouth. (Be careful with this, it can be done wrong.) Once you start getting good, you won't have to hold his dick. You can use your hands to please yourself or touch him more. To finish: This is intense and you cannot let up. Move your head up and down in synch with your hand. Keep using your tongue. If he starts jamming you head down you can move your tongue to the back of your throat so he doesn't gag you. (They get too excited sometimes). You can do of 2 things from here: 1) Let him cum in your mouth. If you swallow, do so as it comes, don't let it build up in your mouth and try to gulp it down. If you're a spitter, try to have a cup or something to spit in close-by before you start messing around. 2) Get off and jack him off the rest of the way so he can cum all over himself."

More Pics of Scarlett Johansson[edit]

Obviously, the below pictures are not Scarlett Johansson's.... but help me to find some good ones here ;) (I can't be doing all the work!)

What If.....[edit]

Scarlett has the ability to flash her eyes like traffic lights. If you want to give her a kiss, watch her eyes and see if you have the green light. Otherwise she might rip your throat out with her razor-sharp incisors.

What if you were Scarlett Johansson? What would you do? Would you be happy to be Scarlett? Would you be a lesbian? Simply elaborate what you would do in this "What If..." situation. (In this section, anyone [both male & female] can take part in answering these questions.... simply click the "edit" link to the right and type your response.)

“I would be so happy if I was Scarlett Johansson!!! My occupation would be House Wife....... But of course, before getting married I would enjoy being Scarlett!!!!!! Pick who I want to sleep with, spend all that money, party, etc. But since I've picked to be a House Wife Scarlett, then I shall describe what I would do, on a daily basis, right here: 1. I start of the day by waking up beside my (RICH) husband.... in the same bed............ and going over to make breakfest for him and myself........ If we had kids, then I would attend to them too................... 2. I kiss my (RICH) husband good-bye and send the kids off to school........... then I have the whole day to myself; to do what ever I wanted, except for the days in which I had to do some "house work"............. Most likely, I'll spend the day watching movies..................... 3. Before everyone gets back home, I'll have the food ready........ and we'll all have a chat and spend time together................ 4. That night, if my (RICH) husband wanted to make-love..... then I would let him "fuck-me" as long as he can................. after the sex, we'll both just go to sleep like normal............ 5. Repeat 1-4 again, again, again, and again............ If I got bored, then perhaps I'll change somethings!!!!”

~ A Straight Man on What if he was Scarlett Johansson


  • She isn't the sexiest woman alive!
  • She gives the same exact advice that Alessandra Ambrosio gives on performing a hand job.
  • She only has sex once a week.

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