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“I've got a hell of a lotta scrodums!”

~ George W. Bush on his collection of scrodums

“I want some scrodums!!!”

~ Oscar Wilde on his lack of scrodums
Scrodums are hard to come by unless you are a politician or American, so artificial scrodums are often used by poorer non-american countries.

Scrodums are an American body part, though most politicians have scrodums (American or not), they're inversely proportionate to your IQ, e.g. George W. Bush's IQ is a negative number, and he has over 100 scrodums! Coincedence? I think not! They were discovered in 1347 and have spread wildly through out the world since then, but are mostly found in America in the modern world.

It isnt unusual to find a lump on one of your scrodums, though your mother is a prostitute, which could cause this. Everybody has a few scrodums except Stephen Hawking, who has absolutely no scrodums at all and Bill Gates, who though American, has only 1/2 of a scrodum.

People with many scrodums are mostly known as Americans (Not to be confused with Americans). If a non-american accumulates over 10 scrodums, they will become morbidly obese and eventually succumb to the disease commonly known as Americanism. Sadly, anybody with Americanism is doomed, as there is no cure.

Scrodum Collections[edit]

These are lists showing who has the highest and lowest amounts of scrodums in the world. An average American has 37-42 scrodums.


1. George W. Bush - Rumored to have over 180 scrodums, but only 137 have been confirmed.

2. George Bush Sr. - Was thought to have 156 at one point, but he actually has 136.99

3. Ronald Reagan - At one point he had amassed 300 scrodums, but had 167 of them removed because he was on the brink of brain death.

4. Maggie Thatcher - Sadly succumbed to Americanism. She had the highest amount of scrodums of any non American at a total of 128

5. Paris Hilton - Only person to ever get Americanism and not become morbidly obese. She has 126 scrodums and counting.

6. Your Mom - Second most infected prostitute ever. Total of 125 scrodums.

7. Gordon Brown - Has the only Glass Scrodum in existence. Is Dying from Americanism Total of 124 scrodums

8. John Major Collected over 100 rare Grey Scrodums before melting due to his Americanism

9. You should know.

10. Adolf Shitler His scrodums (112 in totall) are 100% jew free.


1. Stephen Hawking Sadly, due to the fact he has no scrodums, he is completly paralysed. On the plus side though, his IQ is 1337

2. Bill Gates The 1/2 a scrodum he has is enough to keep him non-paralysed. But that scrodum has had adverse effects on his IQ, which is 666.

3. Everywhere but the USA Luckily Americans are the people mostly suffering with Americanism


Scrodums were discovered by English men in 1347, after exploring the New World (shut up columbus), they returned to England and found they had large growths somewhere on their body (nobody knows where..) and they found they couldn't speak properly and couldn't solve basic maths questions. Scrodums then spread madly through out England, causing people to become so stupid they killed themselves. This is more commonly known as the Black Death, due to the black hair that grows from scrodums.

Spanish Inquisition[edit]

Contrary to popular belief, it wasn't jews that were tortured, it was people with Americanism. Sadly this was just the first of many prejudiced attempts at wiping out Americans


The reason people think it was black people (who probably find the phrase "black people" offensive) is because people with lots of scrodums have lots of black hair. This makes people look like black bigfoot. They were made to farm on the Cigarette farms in fiji, where they grow mens men. The journey was very luxurious, with nearly 2cm of space! 2cm!!


Germans were particualry harsh on Americans at first placing them in caves on hoth, where they got raped by wampas, before putting them in cages dangling above sharks. Eventually the Americans broke them free, but many of them were eaten by sharks. The Germans were then made into crack whores.


Many innocent Americans were mistaken for black people during apartheit and placed in townships, this angered the Americans and the Americans with Americanism. But the Germans rejoiced.

Modern Scrodums[edit]

There are many variations in scrodums, but all of them have these distingushing features:

Long black hair (apart from swedish scrodums)

Only on Americans

Can only be seen by Americans

It is unknown where on the body they are

Crack whores beat up the owner, (the American)

They like it up the urethra


Not to be confused with Americanism.

“Die Amerikaner haben eine Krankheit, weil sie Sodomie genießen!”

~ Crack Whores on Americanism

“So true...”