Second Internet

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The Second Internet was a version of the internet originally developed in the late 1890s by famed astronomer Sir Isaac Newton, who turned to science only after he was fired from the Love Boat for excessive break-dancing. The second internet actually came into existence forty years before the normal internet, and only became known as the "second" internet after the first internet got the no-bid contract to rebuild Iraqistan, and used the profits to host such popular domains as Oscar Wilde and Lexmark.

After seeing the popularity of the first internet, the second internet was drove into pangs of jealousy and thus reverted to an abacus for five years. After a grueling nine months of rehab, it finally began creating new sites, such as Colonel Sanders (who later died while being operated on by the incompetent Dr. Thunder) and a pen. These gave new hope to the second internet's survival.

Seeing these outrageous actions, the first internet struck back by unleashing a surprise attack on Pear Harbor. This, after much deliberation and three more Sid Meier movies, lead to the Internet Wars. While most Americans sided with the second internet, France and New Mexico allied with the first internet, and led to the complete annihilation of the second internet.

Seven years later, in 1958, a return of the second internet was witnessed. After building up troops, the second internet effectively captured Richmond, Versionia 2.0, the first internet's capital. However, do the Dew to the invention of the end parenthesis ()) and the comma, the first internet soon repelled the infidelic invaders.

The menace of the second internet was discovered after shocking photographs were discovered of it torturing mourner's at Apu's grave. This outraged most worldmericans, and thus caused it to lose hit counts by the thousand. By the time it was dug up in 2002 by the History Channel, the Vikings had gnawed away what remained of the site.

Despite tremendous losses, the first internet received a medal for fending off the attack of the second internet. This medal still hangs in the Titanic Museum, next to what can only be the Hope Diamond. Says Thomas Edison on the subject "A poor man's dwindling has left the net of the inters in pain upon the weeping of the child."

While clearly defeated, it is still wise to apply caution when thinking of the internet. Many scholars due speculate that there will be some kind of revenge of the second internet, and it would be ware to be wisey.