Secret Santa

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One of two existing photographic images of Secret Santa, taken by his mother while trying to finish up a roll of film.

Secret Santa is the bastard younger brother of Santa Claus. He was kept in the attic of the Claus home by his parents, Ike and Mamie Eisenhower, for most of his life, venturing out only for the occasional snack or prostitute. For Christmas, throughout his miserable life, he received only one present each year, from an anonymous member of his family. For this reason, we exchange presents every year anonymously with people from work or school that we really don't like, just because it's "that time of the year."


Timeline[edit]

Sightings[edit]

As little photographic proof does exist, there are other alleged sittings of Secret santa.

Marrigages 1:Satans sister goober(desember 26 1972-feburary 20 1982):married to satans sister as a deal between her brother and secret santas parents Ike and Mamie Eisenhower as a way to keep him in the attic.They mwhere married at the day of his birth. There marriage was good for 10 years and 10000 children wher born of this union. It ended when he left the attic for the first time,making there marriage a sham for some reason not known for mere mortals.