Sentient Coin

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Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Sentient Coin. We are sorry for their blatant retardedness.

Sentient Coin was the seventh and final of the legendary Seven Wise Monetary Units. It is a coin with the intellegence of a man. And not just any ordinary man, but a smart man. We're talking smart enough to look at stuff and tell you the chemical formula of it smart. That's how smart it was.

Sentient Coin was mostly famous for its decades-long run in the WWF, during which it was a seven time World Heavyweight Champion. It was known in the ring as "Stone Cold Sentient Coin", a character best known for doing interviews where he would advertise his Patented Sentient Coin System. Seven times, the reigning champ was so tired of the advertisements that they would offer Sentient Coin the championship if only he'd shut up. Seven times, a gullible man lost the championship.

Not nearly as important, but still noteworthy for trivia buffs: Sentient Coin, with vice president Two-Face, became the 33rd United States President in the year 847, after The Year Without a President. It ran on the platform of "Flip me to decide how shit goes down." For one year, Sentient Coin was the most loved president of all time until 848, when it was caught sleeping with an intern. It was quickly impeached.

The original owner of Acura, he later bought out longtime rival GM which was sold off and its employees fired.

Sentient Coin was killed by a retromancer in the year 350.

Preceded by:
The Year Without a President
President of the United States
847-848 AD
Succeeded by:
Billy Ocean