Sentient Doughnuts

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Wikipedia doesn't have a proper article about Sentient Doughnuts. It really wouldn't help those so-called experts by writing one either.

The concept of Sentient Doughnuts was first conceived by noted doughnut connoisseur Homer Simpson. Simpson, who was so brilliant that he had difficulty talking to other people, was always dismayed by his lack of good mealtime conversation. He decided that the best way to remedy this was to make a meal that could withstand his intellectual prowess, or al least laugh at his jokes.

In June of 2013, Simpson released his Sentient Doughnut to an excited public. However, it flopped because a nefarious designer added a tendency to insult people's weight. Some consider this to be proof that the doughnut was actually sentient, as it was trying to survive, hoping that the receiver of its comments would immediately go on a diet and neglect to finish eating.

But the chronicles of the Sentient Doughnut don't stop here, because the nefarious designer, the superhero Anorexia-Man, was desintegrated by Homer Simpson's eye lasers and the insulting side of the doughnut was removed and the doughnut was mass-produced and sold all over the world. The revolutionary experience of having interesting conversations with your snacks was so successful that Homer Simpson became the richest man of the universe for 3 minutes and 12 seconds, but after that Bill Gates' money machine had produced enough money to make Bill Gates the richest once again.

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