September 93rd

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September 93rd occurred immediately after September 23rd in 1896, when the clockwinder for Big Ben in London (curiously enough named Benjamin Bigg) drank too much beer and over-wound the clock mechanism to such an extent that the clock advanced by 1,440 hours during the next 24 hours. This is the origin of the phrase "Time flies when you're having fun". Mr Bigg was banned from drinking beer at this time.

Immediate effects[edit]

It was decided that due to the apparent loss of 60 days and near riot situations (caused by the peasants thinking they had their lives shortened by 60 days) that each year Mr Bigg would wind the clock back by 1 hour each autumn for the next 1440 years in order to gain back the lost days)

This did in fact take place in the October of 1896, but again the peasants revolted because their government asked for 1 more hours tax that month. The revolting peasants voted with their feet and walked to the Polling Stations and voted against the government and elected in the opposition party.

What happened next[edit]

The new government promised to turn the clocks forward by 1 hour in the spring, when it was expected that Mr Bigg (who had broken his ban from drinking) would awake from his beer fueled Christmas drinking binge induced coma.

The headlines in the (recently launched) Daily Times had until this time been solely concerned with what time it actually was these days as the majority of the populace had no idea what the cor blimey time was. However, when Mr Bigg went into his coma, the headlines read - "Bleary-eyed binge-drinker Benjamin Bigg, Big Ben bell bonger boozer breaks beer ban"

Mr Bigg did awake in the spring and indeed did put the clock forward by one hour.

Long term effects[edit]

Mr Bigg actually became pickled with the amount of beer that he drank and therefore became immortal. The only problem was that his brain was also pickled and he could only remember the 2 months before and the 2 months after his Christmas binge coma. The unfortunate side effect of his immortality combined with his only being able to remember to turn the clock back by 1 hour in the autumn and forward by 1 hour in the spring was that for eternity, he would follow the same routine.

Further implications[edit]

The government had a plan to stop Mr Bigg being so ridiculous. In 1914 they ordered the army to detain him, but due to him now having acquired superhero powers (due to the combined effect of drinking beer and clock oil) was able to out run the army down the length of the River Thames and in an astounding feat jumped over the English Channel to France in a single bound. He waited for the army to land in France and then repeated his jump, returning to England in a single leap. The army, not wanting to waste a journey declared war on the Germans, thinking it would be a good way to see the French countryside for free. Mr Bigg (who was by now considered to be a right-royal-pain-in-the-ass) decided to further upset peoples' grip on time. Upon his return on February 28th, he immediately turned the clock mechanism back by 24 hours, therefore giving February 29 days that year. Mr Bigg would (as a nod to the Modern Olympics that started on 1896 (the same year that he over-wound the clock in the first place) he would add an extra day to February every 4 years. To commemorate his out-running of the army and leaping over the English Channel, he was to call these years Leap years

Modern day[edit]

Due to Mr Bigg's immortallity, we are still experiencing the effects of his drunken escapades to this day. The Governments of the world of course, do not want to admit that drinking beer not only makes you feel immortal, but actually does make you immortal. So, they invented the phrase "Daylight savings" and other such similar names. The government of the United States came up with an idea to cover-up the extra day in leap years, by proclaiming that the Earth was in fact round and not flat. By doing this, they could say that the time it took the earth to revolve around the sun was a quarter of a day longer than previously thought. As everyone is aware the Apollo moonlandings were faked, but the only reason why was to be able to produce photographs of a round Earth.

Mr Bigg was becoming increasingly annoyed at the government trying to stop him that he moved house and changed his name to Albert K. Eader. Now, anytime that the governments of the world try to kill him, with guns, bombs or explosions, they blame it all (correctly) on Al K. Eader.