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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Serenity.

Serenity is the actual cinestatic sequel to the fictitious TV series Firefly.

A truly remarkable example of the art of the motionless picture, all cinemas in which it is shown have a minimum popcorn consumption requirement in order to ensure that moviegoers are hallucinating sufficiently to fully enjoy a single frame of Morena Baccarin shown for two hours, overlaid with subliminal advertising.

Director & Inception[edit]


Serenity originated as a drunken bet between Elvis Presley and the guys with the black helicopters, and was intended to test new mind control techniques. The commercial possibilities were quickly realised and project was handed to Anne Rice, who was responsible for the sketch that fuelled rumours of the existence of of Firefly.

and this was from the creation of the universe

Fount Controversy[edit]

Seriously. Papyrus. Fucking PAPYRUS. What the fuck is wrong with these people!?
"Because," says Joss Whedon, "Papyrus is everything we wanted Firefly to be and Fox prevented it from becoming--so shiny and pretty that it got so overused that everyone hates it."


The infamous image of Morena Baccarin played through the whole film.

As with most motionless pictures, it is extremely difficult to convey any kind of plot in a single frame repeated ad nauseum. The illusion of a plot is provided by the hallucinogenic properties of movie theatre popcorn and subliminal reinforcement of the idea that the moviegoer has seen a good movie and will come back to see more. This is actually significantly cheaper than providing real movies, and is a better guarantee of box-office takings.

Deconstruction and Filmic elements analysis[edit]

One frame, and mind control. What more is there to say?

Of course because Morena is hot, most heterosexual males will be lost, and the mind control will be effective.

Serenity Fan Movie[edit]

Nathan Foley and Paul Reubens on the set in a rare production still

Further fueling confusion over this film and Firefly is a recent all-star "fan flick" that has been shown at some conventions. The cast includes:

The plot principally revolves around recovery of the long-lost Reaver Cookbook. All the recipes in the book involve raping your victim to death, eating their flesh and sewing their skin into your clothes, but the order in which these stages are performed and a number of creative techniques at each stage result in an almost infinte variety of dishes. Once the book is recovered it is handed to Chairman Kaga for use by the newly appointed Iron Chef Reaver in the Colonist Transport Battle. Jamie Oliver gives a credible performance, and his Spleen A'La Orange is a true masterpiece, but it simply doesn't stand a chance against Iron Chef Reaver's Jamie Tartare.

River Tam[edit]

This unique character may or may not be the heroine of the movie. It is hard to tell because most of the time she's all PMSing and shit. Soon into the movie she finds out kiddy porn make her go nuts. This causes her to unlock a repressed memory of the planet once known as "Jupiter", whatever the fuck that means. It all started with the Telletubbies theme song. Before she knew it she had practically wiped the whole planet from existence. The only people that remained became the horrible savages known as Reavers. Now she just blames the Alliance for everything and awaits the day she can conquer the world... which is actually completely abandoned furthering the theory that she is completely crazy. So beware empty earth this chic can kick around poles as well as taking out people who don't even exist.


The extremely successful success of Serenity prompted seventy-five sequels, including Alien: Resurrection, set in the universe of the Amelie of Montmartre films.