Shaving Cream is a mind-controlling substance introduced by Michael Moore in 1963.
For those ignorant pigs who dont believe the conspiracy theories, it is merely a foam-like cream used aid people in shaving their genitals.
Other Uses For Shaving Cream
- Making ordinary people look like Sasquatch
- Making your boring old fury Cat siamese
- A Substitution for normal Cream
- Assisting virtuous non-believers in passing purgatory
The Shaving Cream Story, Believe It or Die
Depsite appearing to be a rather unassuming substance, Shaving Cream is responsible for the influential left-wing movement through the latter half of the 20th century. Shaving Cream works as a halucogen, turning usually conservative individuals into extremist, tree hugging alternists. This is somewhat ironic considering the connection a clean shaven testicle has with a straight eged attitude toward life. The US Government eventually banned the use of shaving cream, as a result all non-asian males were forced to let their testicle-hair grow. The underground left-wing movement responded to this by making shaving cream illegally available to those who sought it. This turned out to be quite stupid because anyone who engaged in this illegal activity were distinguishable by the fact they had no pubes, and weren't asian. These offenders were condemned to be brutally slaughtered by Rosie O'Donnell. Those who were content to let their pubes grow, and their newfound attitude diminish, began to develop crabs, this forced the US Government to re-legalize shaving cream in 1979 saying: 'THERE!!! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW YOU BASTARDS!!! ARE YOU?!?! ARE YOU!?!!'