Sheilas' Wheels

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Even Lara was taken in by their evil ways.

“This advert is so God damn annoying!”

~ Captain Obvious on Sheilas' Wheels

“What tune is that guy singing? It's catchy!”

~ George W. Bush on the above comment

“What's this rubbish about equality for women?”

~ Mike Newell on Sheilas' Wheels
For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Sheilas' Wheels.

The Sheilas' Wheels advert was created during the battle for Middle Earth as a torture method used by the orcs on all the helpless hobbits, dwarves, elves etc.

Thus the annoying advert was created[edit]

During the heart of the battle for Middle Earth the orcs had amounted a large amount of prisoners and to tip the Battle for Middle Earth in their favour they created the Sheilas' Wheels advert but of course back then it wasn't called Sheilas' Wheels, it was simply called "Annoy...urr hobbits *snort*". It was a method of interrogation so the orcs could discover secret locations of the non-orc population, it was highly successful at first, the advert was incredibly irritating to those who watched and most would crack instantly what was to happen was completely unexpected...

The Problem[edit]

The orcs suddenly found that despite their advert being an effective method of interrogation it had one major flaw, extreme exposure caused instant memory loss to victims thus making them into drooling, crawling idiots. This was a problem for the orcs because if they became idiots they could no longer gain information from them so they were released to the wild to waste their remaining years.


Cquote1.png Fellas, aren't you glad you're not a woman.
You're not a Sheila, you're a Peter.. or a Clive
Because their lack of spacial awareness
makes them really fucking careless
You should never ever let a woman drive..
Cquote1.png When a girl is sitting at the wheel,
you're gonna hear the crunch of steel
there's a very real danger you'll crash into a stranger
if you want to leave the car alive
Never let a woman drive.
Cquote1.png If you ever let a bird reverse
you're gonna end up in a hearse
you're a mass of fucking peril if your driver's name is Sheryl
if you want to leave the car alive
Never let a woman drive!

Symptoms of the advert[edit]

  • Symptoms of the advert (ie idiocy) include:
  • Clumsy movement
  • Impaired vision
  • Memory loss
  • Inability to form full sentances
  • Stammering
  • Ability to win Presidential elections


  • Walking Stick? its a stick! Sticks are awsome! It counters the Shelia's wheels!
  • Glasses made from stick!
  • Hit yourself on the head? With a stick? maybe it will work?
  • Don't talk and just nod
  • See above
  • War on Iraq using mainly a stick?
  • Jump off a tall building?
  • Hit the advert/your TV with a stick!!

See also[edit]