Shellcode

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Because of their incurable biases, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will probably never have an article about Shellcode. We are sorry they insist on being this lame.

"I just wrote a x86/x64 bindshell for win* AND *nix in under 58 bytes!"

- Neo on shellcode

"Old news, I invented that a few years ago."

- Arthur C. Clarke on Neo's new shellcode

"I wish i knew he invented that a few years ago. I could have fucking buried that guy."

- Steve Ballmer on Arthur C. Clarke's "allready invented before" shellcode

What is it?[edit]

"The Shellcode" is the secret code of hackers world wide. The exact phrasing of the shellcode is a closely kept secret. Only a few things have leaked to the public about the shellcode:

  • No hacker shall run Windows on any of his machines, other then for testing exploits.
  • All hackers shall run *BSB on at least on machine at any given point in time.
  • Hackers are advised to use the 1337 protocol for peer to peer communication.
  • Hackers should wear black and look cool at all times.
  • Hackers should live with their parents and give up their social life (if any) on becoming a hacker.
  • All hail Angelina Jolie.

See also[edit]