Shemales

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Shemale "Ana Paula Botelho," the first of many more to come

Shemales are a race of extraterrestrial aliens with the power to transform themselves into other creatures by mimicking their deoxyribonucleic acid (DNA). Seeking other intelligent life forms, they send scouts to other planets than their own, Transworld. Once they find such life forms, they use their shape-shifting ability to become like them so that they may learn first hand what it is like to be such alien creatures. One of their scouts, Hermaphrodite, selected Earth as a world that was likely to harbor such life. However, she chose a male-to-female pre-operative transsexual as a specimen to mimic, ultimately taking on the appearance of Ana Paula Botelho.

"Buffy's" Bizarre Beliefs[edit]

Initially taking the Earth-name of a female character she saw on television, Hermaphrodite began calling herself Buffy Summers. Since she learned all that she knows about human beings from watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy (the shemale) had many mistaken ideas about human beings. For example, she thought that: * Some humans are demons, monsters, or vampires whom she must slay. * Witches are lesbians, and lesbians are witches. * Librarians wear three-piece tweed suits and speak with British accents. * She is insane, suffering from paranoia and schizophrenia. * Her sister, a key, is a form of energy given human form by mad monks. * All men are pussies including Dodz

Ana Paula Botelho[edit]

As "Buffy the Shemale Vampire Slayer," she rescued (or thought she rescued) Willow Rosenberg from a demon king [1] [2], but, ultimately, she learned that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is a fictional show, and that there really aren't such things (or people) as demons, monsters, vampires, witches, and energy keys, although men, quite often, can be pussies. To date, she has not discovered that all human beings are not double-sexed, and she has retained breasts as well as male genitals. However, she has changed her name, calling herself Ana Paula Botelho and her friends call her Emx

Adjustment Problems[edit]

Ana has trouble adjusting to the conflicting demands of a bisexual body and the different emotions that result from the odd mixture of estrogen, testosterone, and other male and female hormones, and she often alternates between a cold, callous, "masculine" outlook and a simpering, timid "feminine" point of view. One moment, she wants to sit on her living room couch, amid a mess, in her underwear, drinking beer and watching football on TV. The next moment, she wants to clean the house, shower, set her hair, and paint her finger- and toenails. Her wardrobe contains mostly feminine or unisex clothes, but she is considering adding a few masculine garments, including a jockstrap, to her collection of lingerie, blouses, and mini-skirts.

Despite her sterility as a hermaphroditic organism, Ana is also having trouble adjusting to having a cloaca instead of separate orifices, organs, and systems for elimination and reproduction.

Also, there is a problem of adjusting their assets while wearing female underwear.

Latest Appearance[edit]

Distingusihing feature: if you spot one of these ladies on a “woman’s” right lower back, you have identified an extraterrestrial and should report her to the Naturalization and Immigration Service (INS) immediately!

As Ana, the Shemale is 5'8" tall (taller than her stature as "Buffy," which was 5'3"), has brown eyes and brown hair, wears a size 34B bra, has a 22-inch waist, has 35-inch hips, has a Powderpuff Girls tattoo on her right lower back, believes that she was born in 1983 in Rio de Janiero, Brazil, and has starred in numerous adult videos concerning transsexuals.

Famous Shemales[edit]

Having found the Earth, overall, to be an agreeable, at times pleasant, place, despite the homophobia and xenophobia that she sometimes encounters as a Shemale, Ana has signaled to the others of her kind that the humans' planet, although at times confusing, is a nice place to visit, although they might not want to live here. As a result, more and more of her kind continue to immigrate to the Earth each day, many of them residing in such American cities as San Francisco, Los Angeles, San Diego, Las Vegas, Chicago, and New York.

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Shemales.

A few have become relatively famous, among them:

  • Hillary Clinton Famous for being married to He/She lover George Clinton
  • "Bond girl" Caroline Cossey (For Your Eyes Only)
  • Lisa Lawrence (well-known porno actress)
  • Miriam Rivera (a bachelorette on the British TV show There's Something About Miriam)
  • Meghan Chavalier (author)
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar (actress)
  • Marti Noxon {TV producer and screenwriter).
  • Your Mom most probably