Shoe On Head
Shoe on Head, can describe the act of placing one's shoe on their head. To the Shoe on Head cult, it is of a deep signifigance.
Put a shoe on head?
"Shoe on Head" is a dangerous cult made up of a mixture of fetish supremists. Not only do they have an uncanny love and desire for footwear, but when placed on the head, they crave nothing more than to rape, kill, and eat the women so unlucky enough to put a shoe on her head.
The Cult's founding
When it became realized by the major public that Scientology was a cult, people's lives turned upside down. Literally, most of the world became flipped over for a week or so. And with all the people upside down at the time, some of their heads landed on shoes. Ralph Nader immediately became turned on at the sight of several women's heads thrown upon their shoes due to the upside down nature of the world.
When the gravity was shifted back to normal, Ralph Nader craved the sight of shoes on heads, and heads on shoes. And so his sick project began, and he posted on many esteemed website communities the idea of how sexy and fabulous shoes on heads were. Some people were easily fooled enough to follow Nader, and soon became lost in an endless tumble downward to the level of shoe on head addicts they are today.
About Shoe on Head
Shoe on Head, or SoH, can be described as simply placing one's shoe on their own head. A rather simple task, but one of the holiest signifigance to some, usually the cult of SoH. A shoe, is one of the many things that can be placed on one's head, but only due to Ralph Naders strange sense of what's sexy, it became a popular lifestyle and religion. The Shoe on Head epidemic sprouted several rival cults with similar purposes. These include:
- Glove on Head
- Head on Shoe
- Shoe on Foot
- Foot on Head
- Crutch on Head
- Chihuahua on Head.
- Poop on Head
- Hat on Feet(cuz they like feet obviously)
Nowadays, the SoH major base and church is located miles underneath the ground, somewhere in Iowa. The "church" is currently trying to fund it's own line of shoes made specifically for SoH members, and for converting non SoH cultists. Its influence is great, and can be found in all ways of life.
The Church of Shoe on Head (CoSoH) was formed February 31st, 2005, as a meeting grounds for all people who loved shoes on heads. Ralph Nader was made holy leader and shoe officer, in the Church's 1st religious ceremony known as Ultimificashoeinazation. Ralph Nader began immediately working on a holy document for the SoH members. This holiest of scripts is called the Truth on Head, and is written in a strange writing that only SoH members can read (or atleast think they can read, it appears Nader was drunk when he wrote the Truth on Head, which he did so on a napkin, often in clumsy handwriting)
Some notable principles in the document are:
- Shoes are made for heads not feet
- When a girl places a shoe upon her head for the 1st time she is considered a women in the eyes of the church
- All meals (excluding brunch) are to be eaten with a shoe on one's head
- Any person unable to balance a shoe on head during the initiation ceremony is considered "unclean" and must be ejected back out of the church.
- Shoes were given to us to be placed on our heads, from the great god, Shoezilla. According to the Truth on Head Shoezilla is a giant lizard, wearing an ancient golden shoe upon it's head.
- Shoezilla pitied a world of sad mortals, and gave us shoes for the purpose of placing them upon our heads. When we put them on our feet however, Shoezilla became angry with us, and as long as people put shoes on their feet, Shoezilla will remain angry and continue to plague our world with disasters (eathquakes, floods, hurricanes, all Shoezilla's doing)
- Ralph Nader
- Ralph Nader's clone
- The TARDIS
- That creepy dude who drive the bus
- Pretty much all shoe store owners
- Mr. Rogers