Shortland Street

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Shortland Street.
"Doctors" at Shortland Street Hospital specialize in A-Sexual Reproduction.

Shortland Street (also known as Shortass Street) is a television show made in Middle Earth about a small handful of hobbits with mock Australian accents who think they have a medical diploma, but actually just have mental deficiencies. Shortland St. was redefined in Oxford Dictionary as a "Black Hole that lures in viewers through some means unknown to man."


The show started when Elijah Wood (fag) said "New Zealand has never made a single half decent soap opera, now let me watch East Enders" in 1983, Hilda Proudfoot decided to contradict him by making this show, making Elijah's quote all the more true.

Opening title for Soap Opera demonstrates the lack of quality in Nu Zeelind's ability to produce a TV show.

The general plot summary of Short land street can be summarised as this: -Introduction -Bumbled around with the idea of something happening -Decided against the idea and all characters gained emotional intellingence of a 12 year old -Built up one singular plot line at a time whilst making a secondary plot -Peak said plot line with a car crash or by making someone insane all of a sudden -Kill off characters as we had no idea how to end plot line anyway -Make secondary plotline new focus, create new side plot line -Rinse and Repeat

Have you ever seen a black hobbit? The cast of Shortland St did back in 1982. As the Hobbit, known as Marvin Gaye stepped into the studio, he received taunting looks from all of his soon to be colleagues and wives. Samwise felt challenged by this man and proceeded to throw patatoes at him. Elijah Wooden who was still alive at this stage pointed to a "colours only" section of the studio and Marvin carefully removed cabage bits from his clothes and slumped into a "Black Riders - twentieth reunion" chair.

A milleneum later in the state of Missouri, the Shire Shortland St ended screening for the fiftieth time only to discover that one person watched the series. Unfortunately this person finally turned off the TV that they left hooked up in their basement (they were wondering what that noise was for five years) and now shorty fans number at 0.


People who started out in Shortland St became typecast in Bollywood.

  • Temuera Horrorson
  • Marvin Gaye
  • Suzy Cato
  • Postman Pat
  • Elijah Wooden
  • Atleast one Maori at all points
  • Samwise Game Gee
  • Angela Dotchin
  • Tandi Wright
  • People who quit very quickly, relizing sending in that CV was a bad move

Basically anybody with no with any talent and had the ability to act a 5 year old as an Adult

On Screen Relationships[edit]

Shortland St was apparently a PG show until two lesbians, "Sweetie" and "Baby" started having sex in and behind people in the sets. It has rather interested a lot of the younger viewers, hence Middle Earth becoming known as "Land of the Rainbow Youth".

Jesus and the Street[edit]

Jesus has made many guest appearances on the St, where he tended to invent new story lines.

When the audience converted to Buddhism the producers realised Jesus had to go and that they would not be able to show anything religious as Buddha has a busy schedule with the Japanese

J.R.R Tolkien and the Street[edit]

J.R.R viciously and brutally raped all of his copyrighted characters one day so they decided to become porn stars in a new soap show in New Zealand called Shortland St.

Field Trip to Mordor[edit]

In the Summer of '69 the cast made a field trip to Mordor. Their learnings in this rural, communist town made the producers believe that they should, perhaps put it in to a story line. For one hundred years the tales of Mordor were reproduced and used as an explicit script telling the tales of how 'the eye' created cookies and watched porn. Viewers got sick of this and started watching shows such as Bill and Ted's Excellent T.V Porn and Shire porn.