Shrek 2

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  • Shrek meets his worst fear THE DREADED IN-LAWS
Writer Karl Marx
Producer Josef Stalin
Director Josef Stalin
Runtime Eighty (80) minutes
Language English Ogrian Far Far Awayese
Distributed by PBS
IMDb rating

Shrek 2 is the 2004 fairy-tale style comedy sequel to 2001's blockbuster hit "Shrek". Created by the same persons responsible for Scary Movie, it was greatly received by theater audiences because everyone thought it was entertaining for children. Despite it's NC-17 rating, the amount of money spent on television advertising and Burger King food promotions fooled audiences into believing it was wholesome entertainment.


The movie opens with Prince Charming getting impaled on a fertility statue while fighting in Wilt Chamberlain's castle. He suffers ghastly wounds. He then retreats to someones bed chamber where he discovers a Donkey show in progress. Prince Charming feels betrayed when he doesn't find Fiona there.

Meanwhile, Fiona is in Vegas with Shrek enjoying their honeymoon after being married by an Elvis impersonator. They are summoned by an e-mail to travel far far away to meet Fionas mother and father. Shrek is noticeably embarrassed due to the numerous herpes lesions on his lips and wonders what his step-parents will think of him.

After a very annoying journey with Donkey, they arrive in some unnamed Kingdom where everyone seems to be either having a heart attack or has recently been injected with Botox. Then while dining, the King accuses Shrek of giving his daughter Chlamydia and a food fight ensues. Finally, the fat lady sings when Fairy Godmother belts out a bizarre rendition of "send in the clowns" while Shrek engages in domestic violence against fiona.

It is not explained how Fiona survived cunninglus from Shrek in the first movie nor is it explained how everyone survived the simultaneous black death and cholera outbreak. It also isn't explained how Shrek ended his addiction to hookers and gambling to enable him to make up with Fiona. Since this film was produced by the purveyors of "scary movie", there is little attention to continuity and the viewer is left with a pile of loose ends and a cast of the undead, due to continuously killing off the main characters every half hour.


Reactions to this sequel were similar to it's predecessor and like many of the movies made by the Scary Movie crew in recent years, people gobbled it up like the idiot consumer sheep they are. It made a shitload of money, more filthy lucre than any other movie released that summer. Doug walker AKA the "nostalgia critic" reviewed Shrek 2 and said:

It's Pretty Cool. I prefer the fact that I almost went into cardiac arrest while watching this film instead of dying from boredom while watching something else. I can't wait to see Shrek 3 when it comes out!

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Full Cast[edit]


  • King Harkinian was going to make a cameo as Harold's brother but he'd already been typecast as a king decades before production started.
  • Last weekend I masturbated while looking at a picture of Carmen Electra.