Side Effects are creatures of legend, similar to pixies, demons and the infamous “help” paper clip. They vary in size from unnoticeable amoebae sized versions to the infinitely larger, world eating act-of-god sized behemoths. Most side effects are easily avoided but it is the invisible kind that one must be truly on guard for as they seem to feed on the misfortune of others, somewhat like mosquitoes or republicans.
The invisible and unforseen side effects often attach themselves to known effects with their funky-odor like strength. Corrupting the known effect and devouring the misfortune of that effects recipient.
Side effects are native to the psycotropic jungles of Quebec, but can be found almost anywhere nowadays. They catch a ride on a bad decision and hitch their way over great distances. quoting Jack Kerouac's “darma bums” and consuming large quantities two minute noodles.
Side Effect Free Zones
Side Effect Free Zones have now been set up, with check points at the entry to particularly superstitious and paranoid areas. although these zones have been in place for some time, they do not appear to be working. Apparently no one had thought of the influx of side effect ridden, almost leperous, degenerates who rush to the nearest check point in an effort to clense themselves. The herds of large side effects, who prowl around the edges of the zones, immediately pounce on the fear infused degenerates, who unwittingly carry the hungry beasts through the check point.
Post mortems of side effect specimens show great resemblance to many of the other effect species. particularly to the cantankerous Special Effects, who’s mating rituals include displays of explosions and cartoons. Because of their rich CGI plumage Special effects are hunted to make hats, and were recently acknowledged as an Endangered species. The Butterfly effect is the mother of all side effects. she gives Birth constantly and mates with all her young
Most side effects are originally concieved in the act of decision. Decisions start the incubation of the pheotal side effect, who's gestation lasts until action is taken on the decision. The side effect will then be born, kicking and screaming into the world. Occasionally side effects have been known to be still born, premature or overdue.
"War" on side effects
The War on Side effects has led to many abortions. but even this genocide seems to have spawned masses of side effects. Pro Lifers rallying at the site of good decisions everywhere, with placards siting a side effects right to life
Once a Side effect is born, it imediatly sets about procreating. unleashing a multitude of disasters or even other effects. these occurances spark decisions, wich complete the circle of life.
It has been predicted that %137 of everything leads to side effects. when first measured, this figure was only %101, but the War on Side effects has significantly increased the numbers. In recent meetings between King Bob and various President's and Prime Ministers, the idea of calling cease fire has been tabled, but the factions can not seem to agree on the paperwork. this is thought to be the work of a covert militant Side effect faction. Talks are ongoing but the peace still looks distant.
Side Effects of Uncyclopedia
Side effects of Uncyclopedia may include headache, nausea, loss of sex drive, a sudden urge to try to fly, eyes poping out, Motherfuckin snakes on a motherfuckin plane, Potato salad, Willingness to hump chairs, increased Kitten Huffing, chronic farting, turning into a polar bear, launching bottle rockets out of your ass, loss of all facial features, a big man by the name of Rusty will put a coke bottle up your rear end, and dogs will attempt to bite your naughty bits off.