Silver Surfer

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An early Silver Surfer with his love, The Aging Buccaneer

Norrin Radd (better known as the Silver Surfer) is well-known across the universe as having been a successful dancer, fashion designer, chef and chess player, and he bakes a mean pie, among other things. He currently lives in the hearts and minds of innocent children everywhere (against their will).He also is...overprotective...

Also, scientists have recently proved that the Silver Surfer is just an evolved form of the Capri Sun water people who fly through the air.

Early Life[edit]

Not much is known about the earliest of Norrin Radd's years. Though it was at first thought that he was one of the last Sons of Krypton, the Silver Surfer himself stated that he was actually born on the planet SR388. Apparently orphaned at a very young age, he was discovered and adopted by none other than Bob Barker. Over the course of the next few years, he became well-apt in the arts of Tae-Bo, locksmithing and full-contact origami. However, for reasons that the Surfer refuses to reveal, he has ceased giving details about this period of his life.

Cuttin' Some Rug[edit]

See what I mean! Now you got him angry!!!I'll miss charlie...

After the Norman Invasion of 1066, Radd decided that the world needed a new artform: dance. At first, people were skeptical about this "new form of demon worship" (as one man put it), but the tide turned in the Surfer's favor when the art was embraced by such famous athletes as Muhammed Ali, Optimus Prime and Stephen Hawking. Eventually, the Surfer's unique style of dance would usher in the Industrial Revolution, and there was much rejoicing.

On the Catwalk[edit]

Radd noticed that the world once again needed his aid after the fall of the Roman Empire, which was largely due to the fact that everyone's feet hurt "a god-damned lot". Apparently, although the Romans were brilliant architects and military leaders, their sandal technology really, really sucked (this was remedied a mere five days too late, after Sir Nike discovered that shoes could be made stronger if all the pieces were actually fastened together). Setting his fantastic mind to the task, the Surfer created such breakthrough garments as lingerie, mobile phones and lead paint.

The Dark Years[edit]

The Silver Surfer has many friends.

After the war, a disheartened Norrin Radd slipped into a deep state of depression. During this period, he failed to save the world from the multiple horrors that befell it, including, but not limited to: the third destruction of the Sun and the opening day of the movie Like Mike. It was also during this period that the world discovered he was not silver at all, but really cupronickel. He later learned to internalize his pain, and there was much rejoicing.

"Alle Cuisine!"[edit]

With the advent of television, the Surfer saw his chance to rebound his fame. He soon began searching for a job that would get him some airtime, and eventually stumbled across an opening on the show Iron Chef, in which he played the role of Chairman of Kitchen Stadium. With his invincible men of cooking, many great chefs were defeated, including Barbara Streisand, Christopher Walken and the deadly trio that was The Butcher, The Baker and the Candlestick Maker. Mr. Radd himself participated in a few of the battles, his most notable of which was when he superbly trounced Voltron (this became the second time that the super robot was served). Unfortunately, due to growing expenses and the abolishment of electricity, the show was cancelled after only three years.

The Fight of The Century[edit]

He once fought Superman and was gonna win but Supes' mum was all like "Turk........keys! Yahtzee!" Then Bruce Willis was there and he said "Jerry, I should be in one of your movies to give it an action edge!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" But then Supes' pulled out a drill fork and drilled the Silver dude. Then the Janitor was all like "drill fork its a drill and fork, mostly fork!!!"


Grandmaster Plans[edit]

Finally starting to feel his age, the Surfer thought it best to take up a low-stress profession, so he turned to chess. This almost ended up being the death of him, though. Within his first year, things seemed to go well, with the Surfer reaching the World Championship, undefeated. However, with a mechanical Adam West as his opponent, things turned ugly. The end of the match saw West having gone mad, while the Surfer was left in a comatose state. The world was destroyed in the process.

The Future is Now![edit]

Mr. Radd has recently recovered from his defeat, and has declared that he will soon resume his grand activities. When asked to elaborate, his only response was "May God have mercy on your souls." He then proceded to incinerate everyone in a billion mile radius, thus detroying earth. It's happened. Your just to dumb to notice yet.

See also[edit]