Sistine Chapel

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to navigation Jump to search

The phrase "Sistine Chapel" is a composite of two word roots; the Latin 'sinister' and the German 'chap'. At first glance the phrase appears to be quite holy and pure, but this is what Satan wants you to believe. Because Sistine rhymes with pristine, a word which immediately conjures up angelic choirboys in crisp white linen robes with freshly scrubbed faces, most sheep are fooled into believing, on a purely subliminal level, that this is a sacred piece of real estate. The truth is, this location is referred to in Revelations as "the abomination of the desecration in the holy place". There's something in there somewhere towards the end of the bible to the effect of "when you see the beast/antichrist (translation: anti-Protestant ex-nazi guy wearing waving a letter of condemnation aimed at Protestants) standing in the holy place then it is the end times. After that your instructions are to run for the hills and don't get pregnant.


The famous panel painted by Michelangelo originally featured the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

The Sistine Chapel is next door to the Fiftine Chapel, all the Chapels are in a row and conveniently numbered though horribly misspelled. (St. Peter couldn't spell his way out of a spelling contest with the help of a dictionary in one hand and a giant spelling robot speller machine in the other...the no-spelling son of a spell check user)

But seriously the Sistine Chapel is in Rome, and is home to a gnome...but seriously again, it IS in Rome, and is home to the horrible St. Peter's Basilica, which is NOT a gnome but a giant lizard-thing that eats people and turns people to stone, or turns them to stone THEN eats them, or gets stoned and eats Peeps. The Sistine Chapel is also home to Pope Benny and the Jets XVI.

See Also[edit]

Michelangelo's orginal concept