Sith Lord

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A true sith lord.

“Me and Vader? Oh we go WAAAAAAAYY back. I remember the good days, oh how I remember *chuckles to himself*.”

~ Hitler on Darth Vadar

Sith Lords are an extinct species (or so they say!) of the Jedye race, a superintelligent race of bugs (circa 1337-1683). The most common form of Jedye was the Padowang, a small yet fierce creature silmilar in shape (and size) to a wang. It's fatal attack would be to latch onto an unsuspecting victim's dingdong and leech the very soul out. The more souls the Padowang's collected, the more they would grow into full-fledged Kinigets. The Sith Lords were Padowang's who had leeched too many unworthy souls and were such influenced by the Bark Side of the Farce that they turned evil (although most people disagree, and say that Sith Lords were in fact benign and the Jedye Padowangs and Kinigets were evil. These people are promptly placed in psych wards). They sprouted wings, and their head turned from gold to purple. The Sith Lords were condemned to Hell for eternity due to their supreme evilness by the decree of Oprah, Oscar Wilde and/or God himself, but they declined this invitation and instead created their own breed of Jedye called the Maul .

Obesity[edit]

There was an obese Sith Lord named Waffle. He ate too many waffles.

The Maul[edit]

The Maul was a red-and-black striped shelled creature that feasted on red blood cells, knowledge, dung beetles and Toyotas. A Maul would silently track its human prey for days, then crawl in through their ear and melt their brain using it's Farce powers. It would then take control of the preys body, kill it by smashing its head into a wall repeatedly, then it and it's fellow Maul's would feast on the corpses red blood cells, helping to highlight the red of their shells. The Maul was also gay and had sex with 50 diffrent female and male models.

Extinction[edit]

The Jedye race lived for quite some time, yet all things come to pass, and as the poor unsuspecting Jedye were captured for fatal experiments by crazy little people, their numbers dwindled down from 5395 approx. to 1000, the creatures went into hiding on the Island of L'aard, where they bred with Esebo Jiggleleeches to form Oprah Winfrey clones that terrorized the natives. The Sith Lords, however, were more sneaky then that. Using Bark Side powers, they would use mind control to stop themselves from being captured. Yet the Jedye Kinigets and Padowangs had used up most of the Farce to transport themselves to the Island Of L'aard, and were soon also captured. Facing extinction, the Sith Lords ran into experimental labs and died furiously, in the hopes that the scientists would be blamed for extinction of a species and another war would start up. Evil buggers, eh?

Recent Studies[edit]

Entomologists have proven, with shaky evidence, that Sith Lords and Mauls alike may have been the loyal servants of greater beings. Common suggestions are they served:

  • Mermaids
  • Snakes
  • Wilie Wonka
  • Stubs
  • Oscar Wilde
  • George Lucas
  • Microsoft
  • Oprah
  • The Dark Side of the Force
  • Cthulhu
  • Darth Satan
  • The Grinch
  • George W. Bush(the worlds most evil monkey)
  • .....Darth Bush...... (OMG who cannit be?)
  • some inconspicous Gnome
  • Yuushan Vong (WOOT!)
  • The Plot of "Star Wars"
  • Pikachu
  • maybe Jar-Jar Binks
  • Chewbacca
  • Zeus (who gave them the power to throw lightningbolts)
  • The Smokin Man (IF he exists)
  • SpongeBob SquarePants (the most probable suggestion)
  • Rednecks
  • Protistutes (and rent-boys)
  • Mosques
  • God of War Kratos
  • Pedophilic Priests and Catholicism as a whole
  • Steve Jobs
  • Wal-Mart
  • Wal-Mart again
  • Wal-Mart a third time
  • Wal-Marty
  • Wal-Martin
  • Wal-full

Scientists are as yet unsure of which, but crack teams are working on the case.

Not to be confused with...[edit]

  • syphilis
  • The Dark Lord, an alternate name for the African-American Jesus.
  • Shit Lords, an evolved dung beetle that basically rolled around in a deep pile of shit all day long.
  • Hithth Lordth, thupreme thnaketh with lithpth
  • Sith Boards, a popular board game where four people fight to the death over control of a 3x3 square board using supposed 'Bark Side Farce Powers', which is really just whacking each other with baseball bats. Once control of the board is returned to the survivor, the game ends. (Surprisingly, this game outsold all versions of Monopoly combined. WORLDWIDE. AND all over the GALAXY!!!)

For more information, travel to the Island Of L'aard. You may not come back, but you'll be better educated.