Sleep deprivation

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Sleep deprivation is serious business.

Sleep deprivation is a mostly unknown but very nasty disease that is caused by not sleeping for an extended period of time. It's quite easy to spot a poor sleep deprivation sufferer because the victim will sport a variety of symptoms like red eyes, poached eyes and falling asleep while you are saying something interesting.

Sleep deprivation is mostly seen in computer nerds who are playing WoW and other online games for days on end. When they finally manage to fall asleep, those recluse dream that the Orc Warlord is running to slay their Mage of Fury and wake up in a sweat. Poor blokes. Unfortunately nerds are not the only victims of sleep deprivation. Many people like secretaries who have to spend all their day and night to make a project for the next day or teachers who have been bullied all day long and need to stay up all night in order to correct all of the children's homework are also in the category of people who are most likely to be infected. Anyway Sleep deprivation torments lots of people because it causes a sensation of imminent asplosion of the skull area


Scientists had been looking for the miracle cure for years when someone who preferred to remain anonymous found out that coffee could overcome the drowsiness that sleep deprivation caused. Pharmaceutical companies were willing to give millions of dollars to whoever could come up with a way to chemically isolate caffeine in a pill or a syrup, so that it could be sold on the market as a miracle drug against sleepiness. Even thought regular coffe can do the same job, minus the high probability of the death because of the chemicals the pills are containing, most of the people still prefer coffe pills.

The test subjects used in the experiments on the suitability of the products who didn't die of a heart attack did 3 things at the same time at the office or started running for hours. So, except the danger of cancer, heart attacts and strokes abither thing caused by sleep deprivation medicines is hyperactivity. Of course those are not the only problems of using coffe as a solution for Sleep deprivation. Another thing, not caused by drugs this time, is that coffee will create a strong need to pee which by ignoring it will lead to a kidney explosion. Anyway people don't seem to mind of all these negatives so they continue using drugs as a therapy instead of sleeping like any normal man.

The positives and negatives regarding sleep deprivation[edit]

Possible sleep deprivation victim

Despite the discovery of the medicine, the problem of acute insomnia still exists. The scientists keep on researching for a better version of the medicine, one that you don't have to risk your whole life just because you didn't sleep when you should have. Unfortunately, the need for coffee isn't the only thing that can kill you [1]. One of the symptoms of this disease that I forgot to mention is that sleep deprivation can also cause depression which will probably turn you into an emo or something and we all know how emos end up...

Anyway, sleep deprivation can be controlled if you put more effort into resolving the problem. And things aren't dramatically negative, if you suffer from sleep deprivation that doesn't mean you will die just yet. It will first make you sulky, sad and your life will have no meaning at all but this is the fate of any true Uncyclopedian. Yeah, you read that right. You can be a member of our society and that sounds like a lot of fun. Sleep deprivation can transform you into something new. That means that being affected by this illness can transform you into something funny, like a goth freak due to the dark circles under your eyes.

List of other conditions[edit]

A number of studies by the Welsh Tourist Board have linked the condition to Sheep Deprivation whose symptoms are hairiness all over your body in the shape of a sheep's fur. Sheep deprivation does not cause lack of attention disorder or depression like we saw above but instead it transfors your body slowly into a sheep. Sheep deprivation isn't so widespread as sleep deprivation but there are still some victims of this disease hidden in caves. It is believed that Bigfoot was infected by a subcategory of sheep deprivation, Bear Deprivation but this is a story we are going to study some other time.

Example of how sleep deprivation can change your body and your personality in no time[edit]


Pretty scary huh?

See Also[edit]


  1. I made you worry because you think that you will die soon. Haha!