Sliders

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Sliders was a popular reality tv show which originally aired on Fox. The premise involved actors approaching the Average Joe with the hopes of convincing the person that they had left the reality they knew. The best tool for this strategy was to have the actor begin talking to an imaginary friend that claimed to be a double from another reality. This appearance of utter insanity by the actor would then cause the pedestrian to be so frightened for his life that he would play along with anything.

The Rules[edit]

The only real rule of the series involved a continual survey of the actors' popularity; becoming too popular would cause the actor to be "voted off" the series. Once this occurred, the network would then devise the most horrible fate they could conceive to dispose of the actor. Of course, these gruesome fates were staged and not actually real; the only real action by the network was to take the actor outside and beat him severely with a broom.

The first to be voted off was Professor Arturo who became the most popular when he began to slouch, gain weight and mumble obscenities to himself. When the other actors realized that being the worst could make you the best, they began to balance their performances with the hope of being the most mediocre. Jerry O'Connell was especially adept at this, and his efforts led to the development of the No Acting Necessary Society (more commonly known as NAN).

New actors were selected by various means. Professor Arturo's replacement was Kari Wuhrer, and she was selected because of the size of her grapes. Even today, Ms. Wuhrer is still considered to be the most popular person to ever don the purple fruit in the Fruit of the Loom commercials.

Lasting Impact[edit]

Television most fondly remembers Sliders for starting the Please Hide Your Remote Initiative. In initial testing, the makers of Sliders noticed that viewers mistakenly called Sliders a time travel series. Studies showed that this belief was because viewers had been subconsciously fast forwarding through each episode in order to find the good part.

To defeat this problem, an advisory was placed on the front of each episode instructing the viewer to please hide their television remote control at that time. To reinforce the behavior, the actors of Sliders were given a remote of their own that they were to somehow lose during the course of each episode.

The hide you remote advisory was a resounding success, but the unintended side effect was that viewers often hid their remotes too well and could not locate them again to change the channel. Upon realizing this, Fox began to place the advisory before most of their programming, and this initiative is believed to be largely responsible for the success of series like American Dad.

Fandom[edit]

Sliders fandom has been documented to consist of one, single fan named Hymie Lipschitz. In keeping with the show's theme, Hymie has adopted thousands of separate identities that he uses to talk with himself about aspects of the series.

After each season, Hymie would arm himself with a shotgun and visit Fox headquarters to insure that Sliders would get a new season. Fox Executives have cited that this strategy is what kept Sliders on the air. Sliders was finally canceled when Hymie was forced to pawn the gun to pay mounting legal fees.

Controversy[edit]

Sliders continued for several years after cancellation because the studio had forgotten the production was still filming, but this changed in the year 2000 when Sliders fatally altered the Presidential election.

Actor Robert Floyd had been brought onto the series in its final year, but none questioned why the Chinese government would loan Floyd for use in the production. Once on the series, Floyd continually emphasized that the new electronic voting systems were retrofitted slot machines; Floyd's effort was meant to remind Al Gore that he still had outstanding gambling debts in China. However, Floyd's efforts convinced many voters that their choices on election day should match a random pattern in order to win money; this especially impacted Florida where elderly people will believe most anything you tell them.

After the election, the Supreme Court decided that the voting results should stand. Afraid that the public would remember Sliders involvement in the outcome, George W. Bush distracted the Justices with his famous monkey dance so that Dick Cheney could slip a forged document into the Court's decision; this document added the ruling that the last season of Sliders was unprotected speech. Because of this, Sliders is no longer rerun on television.

Though the Court has since noticed the forged document, the Court will not change the ruling because of the inherent conflict with the "We're never wrong" doctrine. However, the Court did use the 2 for 1 Cheerios coupon Cheney accidentally left attached to the forged ruling.

Season 1 episode list[edit]

I am a GENIUS!!! (Pilot Pt. 1): Quinn discovers the gateway and revels in pride for the next hour..

[email protected]%*!!! (Pilot Pt. 2): Quinn and Co. jump into the gateway, discover that they can't return home, and use foul language for the next hour.

Commie world: The Sliders land in a world ruled by the Soviets, proceed to drink copious amounts of vodka.

British world: The Sliders end up in an America still ruled by the British, are taxed without representation and don't brush their teeth.

Jello world: In this world, all matter is Jello-based. Everything is very jiggly. Not a lot else happens. This world was later re-visited when the Sliders picked up Maggie Beckett.

Crazy world: In this world, sequels are good, TV is intelligent, SlipKnot make good music, and everyone on the Internet is polite and scholarly. The most bizarrely improbable world yet.

Lotto World: The sliders go to a world ruled by the lottery. The world is seemingly perfect until Arturo gets humped by a dog. They almost get killed, escape and then hit (or fall over?) a dumb cliffhanger. End of Season 1.

Season 2 Episode list (incomplete)[edit]

Into the Freakish: The sliders fall off of the cliffhanger into a magic witchcraft world (leaving the dog and Ryan the Pimp behind) and cross a rope bridge. They break it and then decide to have a swim.

Nude World: The Sliders go to a world where clothes haven't been invented. They decide to blackmail each other by photographing each other's naked doubles. Hilarity ensues.

Cowboy Rodeo World: The Sliders go to a world where California is part of Texas and lawyers are like cowboys. They call an attorney so they can have a rodeo. Notable because in this world, lawyers are both incredibly annoying AND incredibly dangerous.

Hot Bacon Club World: The Sliders get sent on a dangerous assignment: the infiltrate Hitler's secret S&M club, The Hor Bacon. Special Guest appearances by Don Vito Corleone, Chad Sexington, and Mr. Galakanokis. Also notable is the 72 position, which was introduced on the show.

Pot World: The Sliders go to world where drugs are legal and popular. Quinn photographs the baker's wife naked in the shower. The other three all get themselves stoned on weed. Later they join the Mad Hatter and the March Hare in having a drugged tea party.

Postopia Slide Syndrome: After the Unbirthday they head to a world that looks like ours, but the Golden Gate Bridge is blue and lettuce contains tobacco. They don't know this until later. At the end the fight the other professor, kick him in the balls and leave.

Minority Report: During legal issues with Jerry O'Connell the SciFi Network recasted his role for this one episode. Striking luck they got everybody's favourite scientist Tom Cruise and did an episode on psychics. The episode starts out with a great psychic alternating the future he has already seen. Then they throw in some more paradoxes and a few plot holes and the team slides out when the mess is so big that even the characters don't know what they should be saying or doing.

Prime Oracle The sliders visit a world ruled by seers. The history of this world started when a seer saved the life of Abraham Lincoln. Wade falls in love with the head fortune teller.


Invasion The Sliders visit a world , only to find out it gets invaded by cromags, a race of demons from demon world. They visit their homeworld and try to escape their prison, which is also its capital.

Season 3[edit]

  • Logan St. Claire The sliders enter a world ruled by Donald Trump. In this universe, Quinn Mallory is a girl with a goate, and Professor Arturo is a Janitor at the Casino Royale, this universes verson of the Hotel Chander. by the end of the episode, Logan chases them, but isn't seen again.
  • Eletric Twister Bugaloo The sliders visit a world that looks suspiciously like a place in California. The go through a rippoff of Twister.
  • Dead Man's Party The Sliders go to a world where Games Shows are a way of excecution. They escape in the end
  • One Way Ticket to Hell and Back the sliders visit hell and kidnap a man made from fire. They head to an oil rig. Quinn talks to fire, the flame wants to burn the oil rig (because he was really a pyromaniac who died and went to hell and turned into fire). Quinn decides to return him
  • Lifes a Mall and then you Fly The sliders visit a world where a city is based inside a large mall and its chrismas everyday 24 houres a day seven days a week. They feels so happy with its atmosphere, (which is hallucigenic, by the way) they choose to stay. But they leave anyway.
  • the Pilot (Part One) The sliders viste a world where a needle is about to destroy the universe.

The professor gets a disease and can only live for a month. Quinn meets the tititular Pilot Maggie Beckett.

  • the Pilot (Part Two) Rickmans Revenge Quinn and Maggie visit a world were the universe is larger than them. They return and see a guy named Coloniel Rickman is killing people. Rick wants to kill quinn, but the professor takes the bullet, they leave and disco dance with quinns counterpart.
  • WHATS SLIDING GOT TO DO WITH IT? - Wade finally decides to start a singing career and Rembrandt becomes her manager. However, when the crying man becomes possed by the evil spirit of a dead rock star, be becomes very abusive. Meanwhile, an evil drummer steals the timer.
  • A SLIDE LESS ORDINARY - Maggie is kidnapped by a bumbling thief who holds her for a ransom. As the episode progresses, Maggie and the kidnapper fall in love but the kidnapper is killed by an army of supernatural termites. Meanwhile, an evil Druid steals ther timer.
  • THE SLIDERS ADVOCATE - The Sliders are forced to get jobs as interns at the FOX network. They soon find out they are working for Satan. Meanwhile, Rembrandt drops the timer down a toliet.
  • U-SLIDE - The Sliders waste an hour in a backwards town with a hick mechanic (Special guest star Johnathan Frakes). Meanwhile, Oliver Stone steals the timer and blames Fidel Castro, the mafia, and the CIA.
  • SLIDAY, THE 13th - Maggie pisses of a hockey player who tries to kill her. However, when the Hockey player (named Mason) is hit by a truck, his evil spirit continues to pursue the sliders! Meanwhile, an evil goalie steals the timer.
  • MAGGIE BROWN - In this ultraviolent episode, Maggie is turned into a media sensation when her breasts plop out on national TV. This spins her into a life of violence, drugs, and sex, however, by the end of the episode she finds out it was all a dream and learns the true meaning of Christmas. Meanwhile, nothing happens to the timer.
  • SLIDE HOME ALONE - When Rembrandt misses the wormhole, he has to wait for the other sliders to come back and get him. Things are complicated when three Kromagg troops (Guest stars Joe Pesi, Daniel Stern, and Wil Wheaton) try to invade Remmy's booby-traped hideout. Meanwhile, an evil Macualy Culkin steals the timer.
  • SLIDACCA - The Sliders end up in a genetically perfect world where they are considered genetic garbage and deemed to die by being fed to the city's giant mutant hamster. Meanwhile, an evil Au Pair Nanny steals the timer.
  • THE SLIDE ELEMENT - The Sliders end up involed in a great cosmic chase to save the universe from evil by obtaing five magical stones that destroy stupidity. However, when the stones are activated, the FOX Network is wiped out of existance causing history to collapse and time to explode and release an army of supernatural maneating goldfish. Meanwhile, the Mondoshiwan ambassitor (Guest Star: Jim Carrey) mistakes the timer for a cel phone and spends the entire episode trying to order a pizza with it.
  • SLIDE/OFF - Through a bizzare twist of fate, Maggie and Wade switch faces and spend the entire episode trying to kill each other. Meanwhile, an evil scientist steals the timer.
  • SLIDERS IN BLACK - Quinn and Remmy are recruited by the intergalactic border patrol. Meanwhile, an evil zombie steals the timer.
  • SLIDE HARD - The Sliders have to save a group of nuns being held in a high-rise that is rigged to explode. Meanwhile, an evil terrorist steals the timer.
  • BOOGIE SLIDES - Quinn and Maggie have to go undercover (pardon the pun) in a pornography studio to rescue Wade from vampires. Meanwhile, an evil director steals the timer.
  • SLIDER'S PEAK - The sliders must escape a volcano that is about to erupt and a army of supernatural rock-men. Meanwhile, an evil vulcanologist steals the timer.
  • I KNOW WHERE YOU SLID LAST SUMMER - The sliders must escape Logan St. Clair and her army of supernatual tarantualas. Meanwhile, an evil enotomologist steals the timer.
  • STARSHIP SLIDERS - The sliders are recruited by an intergalactic army to help wipe out giant bugs. Quinn feels inadequate when he is forced to shower with Wade and Maggie. Meanwhile, an evil drill seargent steals the timer.
  • SLIDE FORCE ONE - The sliders must save the president of the United States (special guest star: Jay Leno) from terrorists and their army of supernatural crickets on Air Force One. Meanwhile, an evil first lady steals the timer.
  • SLIDEMAKER - The sliders join forces with George Clooney to disarm a nuclear bomb in the city. Meanwhile, an evil Batman steals the timer.
  • QUINN MALLORY: INTERNATIONAL SLIDER OF MYSTERY - Quinn is forced to travel the globe searching for the other sliders who were kidnapped by supernatural robots. Meanwhile, an evil FOX executive steals the timer

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