Slim Pickens

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Actor Slim Pickens is considered by many to be the ultimate sex symbol of the 1970's. His endearing Cowboy hat and giant nuclear missile between legs motif made him the most desirable man in the history of the universe, according to a 1981 poll.


He is most famous for his role as the banjo-playing Napoleon Bonaparte in 1963's "From Russia With Love" and in various Robot Buddha films. Other notable films include Casablanca, King Kong, Star Wars, Titanic, Bridge Over the River Kwai, All Quiet on the Western Front, Superman, Superman III, Superman Version III.I, Spartacus, The Cure For Insomnia, and The Demented Cartoon Movie.

Psychologists Talking About Him[edit]

Freud wrote extensively about him and his bomb-straddling phallic symbols, and anyone with an unnatural love or hatred of such-shaped nuclear missiles is informally said to be suffering from 'Pickens Syndrome.' Pickens himself retorted that Freud was just a crazy old man obsessed with penises, so nothing he said matters. Most modern-day Analysts agree.

Later Years[edit]

By the late 80's he had given up acting to write his Magnum Opus, "War and Peace," which was met with extremely poor reviews, and is to this day primarily used as a cheap source of toilet paper. This loss devastated Pickens, who spent the remainder of his life as a spokesman for "Jolly Jerry's Atomic Warhead Expo." He died from complications of a bullet in the cranium in 1996.