Glob of Ectoplasm

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
(Redirected from Slime)
Jump to: navigation, search
They're so cute and cuddly!

Globs of Ectoplasm, commonly known as Ectos (or Slime to the layperson), are small pink semi-gelatinous objects used as a form of currency in several East-European countries. The overall average exchange rate between the Euro and the Ecto at the time of this writing is approximately 7,500:1, making them an extremely valuable commodity among currency traders, investors, and porn merchants. In addition, Ectos are so small and light, they can actually be carried into the afterlife by the ghostly spirits of the recently-deceased — finally disproving the notion that "you can't take it with you."

Many weathy, terminally-ill Europeans (who comprise roughly 40 percent of the continent's population) have been known to convert all of their Euro-based savings into Ectos in order to screw their heirs out of their inheritances, "just for spite."

Ectoplasm is used in Goatse

Each Ecto consists of a platina, or the actual ectoplasm itself, surrounded by a containment sac, or "skin," which also denotes the country of origin. If the containment sac is removed, the ectoplasm simply evaporates, and all value is lost. The reason for the distinctive pink color of the ectoplasm is unknown; some suspect that this is due to the pervasive influence of pop singer Elton John over European culture, or perhaps that of Jan Smit, a stupid artist from The Netherlands who cannot sing and is afraid of ordering hamburgers at McDonald's. Both of these individuals are known for their preference for pink things.

While few people have ever deliberately punctured an Ecto in order to smell the ectoplasm inside, it is generally believed that the ectoplasm smells like French cheese, most likely Camembert, or possibly overripe Brie. This is thought to be due to the disproportionate number of French people whose deaths have resulted in ectoplasmic infestations, and the well-known fact that cheese odors persist long after the spirit has left the body.

Surprisingly, however, the country best-known for Ecto production is Romania, followed by Bulgaria and Serbia. Meanwhile, Ectos are practically unknown in the United States, where everyone is too deeply in debt to various credit card companies, mortgage holders, and other lending institutions to afford them.

Role in the European Monetary Crisis[edit]

The popularity of Ectos caused a "run" on them as an investment commodity during the European Monetary Crisis of 2002, leading to a steep increase in value. The net worth of several holders nearly tripled in less than six months, resulting in a new class of "Ectobillionaires," among whom was former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham.

What Can You Do With An Ecto?[edit]

Absolutely nothing! [1]

However, they do make perfect pearls for rich ladies' necklaces.

E-Commerce Sites That Accept Ectos[edit]

Slime a.k.a. Selim Dayanik

^ 1. This assumes that you, as a typical Uncyclopedia reader, are too poor to afford such things. If you had any money at all, you'd presumably have much better things to do than read this stupid article.