Slime volleyball was first seen in heaven, before time began. Originally it was used by angels, but with the invention of the steam locomotive and SimCity, most angels spend their time saving people from gaming addictions and getting hit by trains. The game is now used in diamond mines to keep miners content.
Slime volleyball is not actually volleyball at all. It is played by two players chanting ancient spells thereby telekinetically moving a spherical mass of cheesium between a series of electromagnetic devices. However, modern technology has made it possible to simulate this activity using nothing but a home PC and a few lines of magic ascii runes. The game ends as a result of one of the following:
- Solar flare.
- Ground bee invasion in one or more parts of the playing field.
- The cheesium becomes self-aware. (This happened in a match between Beethoven and a twelve-year-old dutch boy in 1857. Beethoven lived to duel another day, but the dutch boy unfotunately was chewed up and spat out by the cheesium, and later formed the Taliban.)
- Hailstones and coals of fire fall and kill one or more players, or the umpire.
- Time-space warp rift occurs. (This is considered a win for whichever player was controlling the ball at the approximate time of the rift.)
- A grue eats one of the players.
- Michael the Arcangel v. the Big Blue Boss (late Mesozoic)
- Homer v. the Anti-Christ (circa 2000 BC)
- Jack Bauer v. Al Qaeda (July 2, 2002)
- Lucifer v. Al-Hakim and Barbara Streisand playing tandem style (Pandimensional Grand-Prix, December 12, 2006)
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