Sludgefield

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Sludgefield is a former mining town in County Durham, Mediocre Britain. It is Prime Minister Tony Blair's constintuency. It is twinned with the German town Hamminwankerline.

Sludgefield is famed for its many viaducts.

Birth[edit]

Sludgefield was originally a vast hole, created solely for the purpose of storing Britain’s war dead in the event of the H-Bomb attack that never came. It was only after the construction of a series of transportation viaducts that digging the hole began, although the nuclear pit plan was abandoned halfway when valuable asbestos deposits were discovered.

Life[edit]

Sedgefield enjoyed several decades as the world’s leading source of asbestos until politically correct “health and safety” laws closed the mines.

Death[edit]

Sludgefield has the highest asbestos death rates in the world, and loses 11 per cent of its population every year (Most of the missing males turn up in Cherie Booth). However, since the town is the prime minister's constituency, residents are required to be trucked in from nearby Heartlesspool to make up the numbers.

Silver binliner[edit]

What's left of the nuclear hole is now used as Sludgefield's cemetary, and a recent plan to fill it with Britain's bird flu dead has safeguarded the jobs of many in the town.

“I actually live here, and you've missed so much crap out about it that you all deserve a slap.”

~ Wiggy from Sedgefield on Crack