Intelligent life

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This is only a drawing. Generally speaking, humans are not considered capable of understanding most fundamental concepts.

A myth originally espoused in the Late 18th Century by members of Kiss, and later spread by a variety of religious organizations, tax authorities, spammers, NFL quarterback Dan Marino, and a large kitchen sponge claiming to be Jesus Christ. Adherents to this quaint notion have included numerous well-known social deconstructionists, liberals, Utopian modernists, and beer distributors such as singer Connie Francis, Connie Francis's mom, and Connie Francis's dog, Sparky.


During the 1960's, it was widely believed that intelligent life might exist among cephalopods and some crustacean species. This idea was supported by theorists who cited the known tendency of the Giant Squid to stay the hell away from any seagoing vessel known to be carrying cast members of Survivor. However, even this notion was disproven when it was was discovered that a 35-foot squid had been Chairman of Wal-Mart Corporation for most of the latter half of the 20th Century.

More recently, an organized effort was launched in the United States to introduce Intelligent Life Theory into the public school systems of several localities, including Iowa, Oprah, and Abba. However, this effort was rebuffed by the US Supreme Court in a controversial 5-4 decision after a full 15-round bout in which both fighters suffered severe head injuries.


The theory of intelligent life was finally proven false last week, when a man living in Canada managed to wedge over thirteen pounds of premium sushi into his own Butt.

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