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The human toe, in its most natural form, is at risk of getting bunions and glass splinters on a typical, day-to-day activity. Only socks, can ensure adequate protection.

Socks are the partner particle of the less well known anti-sock. It has been long established,that when socks interact with an anti-sock generator (a tumble dryer)- sock anti-sock interactions occur generating neutrinos, beta radiation and, of course fluff. Sock antisock interactions are relativly rare, having approx. 50% probablity in an anti-sock rich enviroment. This is why you can naver find a clean pair of socks

Socks are great for fending off evil torpedoes[edit]

“Ooooooh, I hates socks!”

~ Yosemite Sam on explaining the cause of his terrible foot odor

Socks otherwise known as foot covers are also a good defense against franny torpedoes. When franny torpedoes are fired they can cause life scarring and extensive damage. After seeing the firing of the torpedoes you will need therapy for the rest of you're life. But now they have discovered that socks can help you survive a franny t attack.

In The Beginning[edit]

Socks with hats an unlikely opponent, the socks outnumber the hats 2-1

Look at a painting of ancient times. Doesn’t matter which one. Do I need to tell you everything? What do you think I am, a goddamn encyclopedia? Notice their particular choice of footwear. Do you see something? LOOK AT ME WHEN I AM TALKING TO YOU, PRIVATE. Whoops, flashback, sorry. Anyway, you may notice that none of them are wearing socks. They are all either shoeless or wearing sandals. The ancients knew. Their feet must've stunk really badly, though...

How They Ruined the World[edit]

Socks taste horrible, ever since socks were invented, cannibals, ogres, goblins, and more couldnt get the same taste of the womans bare feet. It simply stole it like gas companies are stealing our virginity. The truth is the bare meat on a womans feet taste better than the socks. So girls, take of your socks, youll taste better! A famous user of socks is Line Julseth. psssst!!

Differences Between Socks and Sockets[edit]

Other than their spelling, they're different. Enough said. Alittle more to be said sockets are for masturbation and sock' alternative use is for low-grade, re-useable condoms. They dont really work either. NOW: enough said.

Differences Between Socks and Sox[edit]

Sox is a common misspelling of Socks, and has grown to be an acceptable use. Also, you can rox sox, however socks can neither be rocked nor rox'd. Unless, that is, if you are on the sox

On The Origins of Our Enemy[edit]

Socks themselves were not, in fact, upon our planet until the mid- to late-1500s, when it suddenly became fashionable to be constantly in danger. In order to placate the socks into being worn, one must stuff their throats. That sliding down your leg? That is them trying to get your foot out of their mouth. Similar to your girlfriend trying to get your dick out of her mouth, but much deadlier. You see, if they managed to escape, they would suck the bones straight out of your toes, shortly followed by the rest of your bones going through the very tiny openings, which I’ve heard is quite painful.

Really, a thing anyone should avoid. But I digress. They came from a planet far away, and the home planet of teenagers: Mars. Oh yes, there once was civilization on Mars. Then the socks ran out of things to devour. They have now come to Earth, only visiting their homeland through portals in our washing machines.

Socks and Their Influence on Mankind[edit]

‎Some of the (un?)fortunate sockless.

Socks have had a wide and varied influence upon us. Though you may not know it was socks. You see, if you wear too many socks, your brain becomes warped to their purpose. Almost every assassin in the history of ever has had his brain warped by the wicked socks.

In case you weren’t convinced the socks were the ultimate personifications of total evil, they also created a robot. Several, actually. Mark I was called L3N1N, after their leader. Shortly thereafter, another was created, known only by its serial number: S74L1N. You are right to shudder: socks are communist.

How to Defeat Them[edit]

The average sock, like everything else, is easly and simply defeated. Burn them. Burn them all and never turn around. Their evil and uncaring souls must not see your eyes, or they WILL get you. Run, and keep running and do not ever stop. If you reach water, start swimming. just flee the socks! Flee, I say!

Why they taste good[edit]

There are two theories on this, both resulting from conflicting academic research:

- Socks taste good because every night, the Evil Sock ZRFSSYPT eats them and spits them out. Happy?!
- Socks have bits of cheese delights. A product commonly developed by human toes...

Why a sock is called a 'sock'[edit]

Sock is actually an acronim for Sigston Obviously Can Kill. This is a little known fact. Sigston is referring to the child prodogy "Alex Sigston". He, amongst other things invented the sun and then number 6. And then the number 666 The reason he obviously can kill is because he has knives for hands and spears for toes. The reason that this child has a relation to a sock is because he doesn't own a goldfish. NOT

They smell![edit]

Actually, the odor emitted from the average sock can neither be described as tolerable or any other word that has more than seven letters meaning tolerable. Often heard from innocent are shouts of, "Jesus H. Christ, What The Fuck is that SMELL!?!" or "Put your fuckin' shoes on, NOW!", these, however are considered obsene and inexcusable words of slander.

Other uses of the Word[edit]

Socks and bonds are two primary investment instruments adopted by individual investors after the dot-bomb crash of 2000 on major stock markets.

Unlike the stock market, putting money aside by tucking it into socks is a quality investment-grade placement as a sock has a known bottom - unless there is a ladder, while the downside from investing in stocks is limited only by the eventual loss of the entire capital amount.

Bonds originate in the BDSM community and refer to a process of chaining investment advisors in leg-irons until the market improves.

See Also[edit]

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