Crank that (Soulja Boy)

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
(Redirected from Soulja Boy)
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Swizz Beatz?
For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about Soulja Boy.
The Original third grade poem.

Crank That (Soulja boy) is a new hit debut single by artist Soulja Boy. The song is notorious for being created and distributed by someone who is mentally retarded. The name itself was inspired from a third grade English project in which the artist needed to write a poem to a soldier oversees. The project received an F for horrific grammar mistakes. Soon after he was put into a remedial class for children with extreme special needs. He took this failure head on and soon dropped out of school all together never finishing his formal education or grammar schools in general. Soulja Boy got beat up by his dad and kicked out and he went to the nut house. A person thought he was completely normal and let him out but then soulja boy found a job washing cars and heard about RAP thats when soulja boy decided to use his grammar for something more useful but when he tried to preform a local talent show he got beat up and bruised very badly he was still 16 so the goverment sent him back to his dad. His dad beat him every day but he got the chance to use a computer. On the internet souljaboy was hated too. soon some one found out where he lived and destroyed their computer and beat soulja boy again. Soulja boy grew up deformed he was kicked out of his house 2 years later. His great uncle died and gaved him 100,000 dollars which he used to make rap. He became famous because the world is full of fucking idoits who doesnt know about anything. But the good news is soulja boy still gets beat up and robbed. Get rid of Soulja Boy and the world will be much more quiet.

At age 25 he sent the poem to a record company and they saw he had potential. Soon after "Soulja Boy" created a dance that many mentally challenged people fell in love with and he became an instant rap success. When Soulja Boy isn't making shitty music, he is going to Sylvan Learning Center, where he will attempt to make music that makes sense.

Who is Soulja Boy? Just the wackest emcee to get all the fame while insulting the name of hip hop... He is the virus in the hip hop game and the mold on the radio replayed constantly... Ice T was 100% correct when he told soldier boy how wack he was... Soulja Boy is the shame in hip hop and a person would be a strait fool to even pay one red penny for his silly album... END OF STORY...And the only person who doesnt agree with that known fact is his tennessee girlfriend Micah Crawford....They have been dating for 2 years..................

Soulja Boy's existance will never serve any significant purpose until he finally gets beaten to death by angry gangsta rappers and becomes compost for the earth.

Military Controversy[edit]

A typical Soulja Boy fan having trouble dressing himself.
Soulja Boy preforming live in Vietnam.

There was a lot of military controversy where the United States Army sued Soulja Boy for insulting the US Army, for making shitty music, and never actually being in the army. After many heated court debates it was found that Soulja boy didn't actually mean to insult anyone and it was a simple title mix up. Eventually all charges were dropped.


  • Sixteen & Still A Virgin: Da Album Before I Became Such A Douchebag
  • Lamest Album Name Ever: Visit My Website Bitches
  • Nevermind, THIS Would be the Lamest Album Name Ever: Apple Should Love Me
  • isouljaboitellem
  • mesouljaboitellme
  • pleasetellemsouljaboi
  • souljanerd

Accusations of False Claims[edit]

Shortly after the song came out,the FBI investigated Soulja Boy after many had accused him of making false claims in the song.It was said that the claims of him supersoaking that hoe and cranking it up fo sho were untrue,and there was even doubt about him passing it to Arab.In court,Soulja Boy pleaded innocent to charges of slander.He was found to be innocent after footage was found of him doing these actions. They did however find in the song Soulja Boy Hold Ya Boy messages in where Soulja Boy talks about "Cranking Little Boys."(For retarded Soulja Boy fans, Cranking means Fucking, Just trying to help you cranktards.)"


The DeAndre Way[edit]

The DeAndre Way is the newest single of Soulja Boy. Here's the tough rough raw deep lyrics of the song:

Rap, rap, rap rap rap
Soulja Boy owned this rap, fuck you fag
Yo, yo, yo yo yo
I can rap, I can tap, Im so fag
Yo yo, Soulja Boy
Tell Em, Soulja Boy
Soulja Boy not like you,
Everyones on Club follow my foot
Rap, Rap, rap rap rap
Real hip hop comes like Batman, motherfucker im a man
Yes im a hero
superman fo sho
Real hip hop, hop pop pow
Fuck you snoop dogg, dogg, dogg ,dogg