[[Image:moon.jpg|right|thumb| Although resembling soy, the moon is where soy is now harvested.]
“I wish I could say that.”
A popular food additive, often added to foods to replace ingredients such as milk, meat, fat, wheat, monkeys, Jane Fonda and I Can't Believe It's Not Soy. Usually added without any notice or labelling, because of the War on Terra and the Sheep Strikes which crippled the oil market, like bear. It is so commonly used that this article is actually made of soy. Soy also tastes like shit.
History of Soy
The discovery of Soy is credited to Martha Stewart at the height of the Stone Age. Dragons, Dinosaurs and Paris Hilton would huff only special rocks which would take 14 years to digest and be evacuated. Martha, lacking any condiments, crushed up these rocks for her Axis of Evil dinner party, which which was a great success. Especially enjoyed was the Mao Zedong cutlets with soy filling. Due to the death of Paris Hilton, the dragons and dinosaurs could not keep up the production of 'Soy rock' to satisfy Martha's addiction. Therefore the New Age Soy Agency (NASA) was formed to find new sources of 'ready-digested' Soy rock, to which the Earth's moon was a very lucky find.
Recently, soy has come under fire by PETA and related groups for the alleged cruelty of its production. This has become especially prominent after the pulication of their three-part operetta Il Nazioni Fastfutti, detailing the unsanitary conditions and assembly-line treatment which soy babies must undergo. In spite of recent highly controversial campaigns-- one in particular, drew fire from the ADL after comparing the slaughter of human babies for soy to the Holocaust-- the soy industry has continued largely unabated.
Soy based products contain hormones that cause the growth bitch-tits , This is uncertain though , a recent study conducted by DQA (Drag queen's association) Points out that such side effects are over rated. However, they have proven that soy shrinks your nuts.
Foods/Items containing Soy
- I Can't Believe It's Not Soy
- Tofu, including tofurkey
- Newsprint (contains soy ink)
- Miracle Whip
- Breast Implants
- Jane Fonda
Soy Sauce has nothing to do with Soy. The fact that there is no known origin of the production of soy sauce, shows that no-one knows the actual ingredients of soy sauce. The ambiguation that somehow it must contain both soy and sauce is dangerous at best, and is known to be the downfall of the British Empire in 1987.
...and SOYlent Green?
Soylent Green also has nothing to do with Soy. In fact, it does not even have any real instances of soy at all (unless someone's last meal was soy). Please NEVER confuse Soy with Soylent Green, you might just wind up eating your grandma. I mean, after all, it IS people.
Known ingredients replaced by Soy
- Grains such as: wheat, barley, sugar, sand and wood.
- Meats such as: beef, pork, ham, Spam and Meatloaf.
- Dairy such as: milk, cheese, butter, Two Cows and nipples.
- Vegetables such as: carrot, lettuce, Vegemite, couch potato and Terri Schiavo.