|NOT SAFE FOR WORK!!|
|The article you are looking at may not be work safe!|
...Although, since you're already here it's kind of too late for this warning to actually be useful.
|If a boss or coworker sees this article, claim that it was spam and blame the IT guys. Otherwise, continue to read it until your lewd urges are satisfied.|
[Camera on two average guys. One is wearing a Coca Cola(R) Teeshirt. The other is wearing a Pepsi(tm) Teeshirt. Both are holding glasses of what looks like bubbly milk]
Coke: Tastes like Coke!
Pepsi: Tastes like Pepsi!
Your Mom: Tastes like Dad!
[Enter man with large bulge in pants]
[Unzips pants and pulls out... a two liter bottle]
Man: ITS MY SP00J!
Announcer: That's right, kiddies, INTRODUCING, Sp00j Cola, the hottest, greasiest soda out there!
[Camera pans on a large breasted woman]
Announcer: You betcha it tastes good, you whore! Sp00j Cola is made in our sp00j factory [camera shot of a sleazy motel] Our sp00j experts, such as your mom and your sister, are working round the clock to milk our prize winning sp00j udders, providing YOU with more Sp00j Cola!
[Camera to a fat woman who looks suspiciously like your mom]
Fatty: HOW MUCH?
Announcer: You may be thinking that quality cola like this runs at least 200 dollars an hour...erm, bottle. But through this special offer, you can get our sp00j absolutely free! Come on down and milk us for all we are worth!
Warning: Sp00j Cola may cause rashes, vomiting, choking, upset stomach, and Herpes. Do not use Sp00j Cola as a sexual lubricant. May reduce sperm count in males. If you have a sp00j experience lasting more than four hours, congratulations!
Announcer: cumming soon to a whore like you!