Ketamine

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
(Redirected from Special K)
Jump to: navigation, search

Special K is the only cereal for "special" people, if you know what we mean. Many clubbers didn't understand what kelloggs meant by the special part, and thought that it was a new type of drug that was easy to buy, you just go to any store and buy it. It is especially popular in Walmart, where the door greeters fool the clubbers that Special K is an illegal drug, and sell it to them for $800, and earn a profit of about $799.50. Once, when Paris Hilton ate some Special K, she exploded. But Nicole Ritche found her body and put her back together so they could contiue to star in the simple life.

Special K soon became the breakfast of choice for clubbers after a night munching down the madman. It's primary effect is allowing users to view the world from a horse's perspective, a perspective markedly and irreconceivably different from that of humans. From this perspective, users will find walking on two legs instead of the usual four quite unusual and may move like Johnny Depp after the ether in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

There are no known harmful effects of prolonged ketamine use; in fact it is thought regular morning consumption of Special K can lead to immortality; whereas irregular consumption prolongs mortality indefinitely.

Form[edit]

Like God, Special K can be found in three forms:

1. Powder form

2. Christopher Shyu flavored pills (watch the pounds float right off)

3. Anal suppository (this is the form most popular with clubbers)

This fact has led many to suppose that human beings are in fact inferior to horses, who are benign leaders who've ruled our planet for more than 16,000,000 weeks, equivalent to the time spent at Number One by Elton John's Candle in the Wind, leading rise to a further belief that Elton John is a double agent working on behalf of our equine overlords.

K-Holes[edit]

If a large enough quantity of ketamine isn't consumed soon enough, users may find themselves in a K-Hole, unable to move. In this vegetative state, users often find themselves visited by a horse god who will invariably impart great wisdom which will lead to a long, fulfilling successful life.

Unfortunately, or interestingly, depending on your viewpoint, once in a K-hole users are vulnerable to, well, anything. Even more interestingly, it is perfectly legal in most countries, including most of Europe and North America, to perform sexual acts with someone in a K-hole, their indifference serving as inferred consent. In the United Kingdom, girls in a K-hole are often referred to as ketaminge.