Spider Riders

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Approved by Kansas Board of Education
Approved by the Kansas State Board of Education
This page meets all criteria and requirements for use as teaching material within the State of Kansas public school system. It consists of facts, not of theories, and students are encouraged to believe it uncritically, and to approach alternatives critically.


Spider Riders is a 40 year old anime series that was animated by Walt Disney. It originally ran from 1966 to 1968. Disney wanted to make an Anime TV series about these sexy people who have sex with each other, a very popular topic in the 1960's. But when nazi soldiers attack, the sex addicts grab hazardous things from their garage and ride fat shit spiders and beat the living daylight out of those pesky nazis. Sadly, nobody watched it, so by 1969,the show was huffed. For nearly 40 years, Spider Riders was, history until three companys, Bee Train, Cookie Jar and FUNimation revived it. Yet the soundtrack was so poorly preserved that they had to redo the soundtrack.Walt Disney was so pissed of that the cursed the lost show to have poor ratings like it did back in the 1960's. It was so unknown, Uncyclopedia never knew it existed, so it took a really big spider Riders fan to make this article.

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia have an article about Spider Riders.
Hunter Steele in a friendly mood.

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Characters[edit]

Hunter Hunter is a somewhat retarded, homosexual 12 year old who gets drunk and jumps into a pit which leads to the Inner World. He then meets a gay spider named Shadow. they both get married and now work for the Spider Riders. Hunter's favorite food is Cheesecake.

Corona Corona is a sexy blonde girl who used to work for a carwash. She was recently recruited to work for the Spider Riders. Corona's favorite colour is pink and she is never seen without wearing pink.Tv profile.jpg


Manted He is actully an evil totalitarian dictator that goes by the name Lord. Manted hates the turnadot people and wants to wipe out their race. But he has a soft side, Manted used to be a very happy and kind ruler that just wanted to unite the Christians and the Muslims of Invectojjian, But his wife died of cancer and that's how he became what he is today. Number of Kittens Manted has huffed since you started reading this article:

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Buguese Buguese is the highest earning pimp in the world, His pimp hand is so powerful, that he could make a very beautiful person to a very ugly person. Buguese is secretly a member of the Nazi party.


Aqune Aqune is Buguese's bitch. She is usually mistaken for a boy because of her short hair and boy like clothes. Aqune is not a crossdresser, though. On her free time, Aqune wites books. Two of her most famous novels are Cheesecake(2002) and the Mask of Communisim. (2006)


Lumen Prince Lumen is the Current monarch of the Arachna Kingdom. He has lots of bottles of Rum and usally gambles on his free time. Lumen's voice is usally mistaken for Stewie Griffin's voice.


Igneus (Iggy) This hardass Ukrainian Is Hunter's boss. His tall stack of blue hair is very usfull for storing things. In fact, Igneus stores everything he owns in his hair, His pictures, his money, his vodka, his crucifix, his gun, virturally everything is in his hair. But he's usually mistaken for Marge Simpson.

Evolution[edit]

Not all charachters looked the same as they did back in 1968. Bee Train wanted some charachters to have a more Anime look. Here's why.


Corona 1968111806 1.jpg 2008Tv profile.jpg




Manted 1968Manted.jpg 2008Mantid.JPG




Aqune 1968Picture 5 copy.jpg 2008Aqune.JPG





Megma 1968240623 main.jpg 2008Megma and Brutis.JPG


Crack and Booze is what I crave!

Just the Facts[edit]

Here are a few embarrasing facts about the Spiders and their Riders, no need to be harsh, but it's all true.

  • Hunter still wets his bed
  • Grasshop, Manted's cheif engineer, is seceretly gay, hope his wife didn't read this!
  • Hortia, Princess Sparkle's spider, has a severe speech problem and whatever comes out of her mouth is shrill gibberish.
  • Megma's Muscles aren't real, he's really an obese person that does lots of sit-ups.
  • Aqune only has one eye, her left eye is the real one, her right eye however, is glass.
  • Manted was born as a girl, he changed his gender, but kept his breasts.
  • Why Shadow is such a know-it-all is because his parents were so F****ing rich and spoiled him when he was a Child.
  • Corona wasn't blonde he whole life, she was born with red hair.
  • The reason why Lumen has a Mad Scientist voice is still unclear, experts say Lumen endured early Puberty.
  • Igneus may look like a brave, strong warrior, But when nobody sees him, he curls up and sucks his thumb.
  • Corona's breasts are fake
  • Hunter's favorite TV show is the Telletubbies.
  • Lumen goes to strip bars every weekend, so that's why he is horny when he sees beauitful girls.
  • Aqune isn't Buguese's only bitch, Buguese scores with hundereds of other girls like her.
  • Hunter is homeless, if he can't pay his hotel room, poor Hunter is forced to live on the streets.
  • Lumen has to wear a fake Muscle suit and uses a flesh-coloured garden as his crotch to make him appealing to the girls.
  • Dungobeet, Manted's messenger, is Autistic.

Other Problems[edit]

Invecteds aren't the only problem that the Spider Riders Face, In fact, the list is endless. These are things that Igneus wants Huffed;

Drink, bitch!!!

and that's the beginning of the list, Imagine how many problems only eight people can huff at a time? All what the Spider Riders need to do is to Relax a Little... Drunk spider.gif


Episodes[edit]

1. The Inner World (A.K.A. Hell

2. Give Up!

3. Last Impressions

4. Smells Like Shit!

5. Memories of Champions who shouldn't be in your memories

6. Spider Rider's Balls

7. Godly Power

8. The Wandering Wenier

9. Hunter goes to Disneyland

10. The Boobs of Aqune

11. Manly Men

12. Keys to taking over Russia

13. Russia prevents the keys from taking over by forming the Soviet Union

14. Russia takes over Keys

15. Hunter owns Stag

16. Spider Rides Rider

17. Return of the Corona!!!!

18. The Pimps strike Back!

19. Unmasked, then Remasked Number of times Aqune took off her mask, then Buguese putting the mask back on since you started reading this article:

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20. Lumen has Sex

21. Because I'm Gay

22. War Wages on! (those wascaling wabbits!)

23. When the world seems dark, Mr. T comes to brighten your day!

24. Key to the Liquor Store

25. Big Bang

26. Sex in the City

27. We're off to Disneylang, suckers!

28. Steamboat Nazi

29. Holy Shit! the ship is getting attacked by Ghosts that aren't there!

30. Nearly Naked at the Resort. (Saucy scenes in this one!)

31. Big Hero (Jeez, such a shitty title of a great episode.)

32. Mrs. Hop finds out Grasshop is Gay

33. Aqune is Corona's dead sister (whoa, didn't see that coming!)

34. Hunter posts a video of Corona taking a shower on YouTube

35. The House of Commons (this episode has the most swearing)

36. Corona beats Hunter half to death for finding about her shower video.

37. The Condoms

38. The first attempt to assasinate the ueen of Nuuma

39. Hitler's Henchwoman

40. Back to stuped, motherfucking Arachnofobia.

41. The first Spider Riders epiosde that has technicly nothing.

Episodes 42 to 49 are just nothing but boring crap, so we'll skip these pieces of crap to the good stuff.

49. Buguese joins forces with the Spider Riders and takes them to Manted's Castle on his giant penis to assasinate Manted.

50. Manted's Giant nuclear bomb that looks like a penis.

52. The very last episode where Manted is killed and the Spider Riders return home to fuck each other.

See also[edit]

This article is part of the Wonderful Japan series
Culture: Bushido | Engrish | Manga | Battle Royale | Cosplay | Domo-kun | Samurai | Japanese High Schools | Japan Self-Defense Forces | Ninja Gaijin | No Gaijin Allowed | Domo-kun | PlayStation Portable | Nintendo Eightfold Path | Wii | Mario | Pikachu | Death Note | Yaoi | Hello Kitty | Doraemon | Naruto | Vocaloid | Yu-Gi-Oh!

Companies: Toyota | Nintendo | Honda | Mazda | Mitsubishi | Konami | Sony


People: Chikan | Godzilla | Junichiro Koizumi | Shinzo Abe | Shigeru Miyamoto | Sadaharu Oh | Hikaru Utada | Oda Nobunaga | Toshiro Mifune | Toyotomi Hideyoshi


Places: Tokyo | Osaka | Hiroshima | Nagasaki | Fukoshima Nuclear Plant


Organizations: CLAMP


History: Prehistory | Kamakura/Minamoto Shogunate | Muromachi/Ashikaga Shogunate | Sengoku Period | Azuchi/Oda Shogunate (Incident at Honnō-ji) | Edo/Tokugawa Shogunate | Empire of Japan | 2011 Earthquake in the Land of the Rising Sun

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Spider Riders is part of Uncyclopedia's series on Mass Media.