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~ Cap'n Kirk on Spock

“I want him to use the Vulcan neck pinch on me! But it's not my neck that I want pinched. It's this big boil on my neck that is called my head.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Spock

Spock Edith Van Houllsehoseer was well-known for his impeccable logic, his keen fashion sense, and his farting and well-aimed volleys of excrement in the general direction of the Prime Directive. Spock (2344-?) is a Vulcan/Turkish ambassador to Kenya, chief Awesomeness officer, and Lieutenant-Commander-Major-Colonel aboard the Intergalactic Submarine, U.S.S. Enterprise. As a part time job he works as a hotdog vendor in France. Spock, sometimes referred to as "Mr. Spock," was Captain Kirk's personal assistant. Spock was notorious for being unable to show emotionals, as required from the citizens of his homeplanet. His father, Sarek, was the ambassador of the dickey planet Vulcan. It is known that Spock was born on the planet VogonMotherFucking9 during solar period 912.

Spock isn't really a pure-blooded Vulcan, but is desperate to have people think he is. His mother is a beautiful twenty-five cent whore, and his father an unattractive rich senator. Therefor, Spock is ale to show emotions in some situations. For example, if captain Kirk tries again to rape him, he can get really angry and brutal. Or if he kills a kitten prior to huffing it he will LOL for ten or so days (he finds the massacre of millions of kittens hilarious).

Romantic Interests[edit]

There have been many theories about Mr. Spock's sexual life. Some say that he shags Uhura every seven years, but Spock actually wishes her dead with immense power. Spock is actually in a civil partnership with a certain Enterprise captain that takes unnecessary pauses while talking. Spock and Kirk first got introduced when they both got invited to Darth Vader's sweet sixteen; it was lust at first sight. Of course, Mr. Spock didn't admit it for eleven years because he was a stubborn vulcan who beleived emotions made him look like a pussy.

This is a common "Spock Love Signal" AKA: Propoganda for Star Trek Recruiters...


Spocks Death[edit]

Unfortionatly, one of the missions of the Enterprise went wrong, when Spock wanted to adjust the situation, he was killed by the famous Khan. Of corse, everybody was really upset, that they have lost there best crewmember and so they shot his body on a planet, where he reclaimed. 300 years later he was found crawling around, alive, in a loin cloth by a couple dwarfs from Snow White. He now resides in Narnia and has fourteen kids with Aslan. Aslan killed Spock. But Spock Killed him. See? It's a happy ending.

See also[edit]