St. Nokia

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The patron saint of ringtones, St. Nokia was born in 788 AD and martyred in 836 AD during the Crazy Frog uprising. He brought the blight upon the world before known as "that of which shall not be named", and is now known as the "nokia tune". This is because of recent people being quite deaf.

The History of St. Nokia[edit]

Born the son of a peasant couple in a hut adjoining a fjord, St. Nokia was always imparting his singing onto any sort of technology that would distract you from watching Gremlins 2. He was stoned in 836 when an angry mob flooding out of Big Momma's House seized him and made a spectacle of his death. T-shirts proclaiming "I Survived St. Nokia's Stoning" were a particularly good seller. A stoner has never worn one.