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Stalinbear in all his glory.
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Because of their so-called intelligence, the so-called experts at Wikipedia will never have a proper article about Stalinbear. We are sorry for their blatant retardedness.
This article is so bad it's good. Enjoy!

“Oh my Stalin, oh my Stalin, oh my Staaalin Clementine…”

~ Oscar Wilde on Stalin and/or clementines

"Hey hey hey, what do you say?"

~ Joseph Stalin on Stalinbear

Stalinbear is apparently the hybrid of a bear and Soviet dictator Joseph Stalin. Some say this was Stalin's first successful attempt at gene splicing. Others say Stalinbear is Stalin's little, furry nephew. Nobody really knows, or for that matter, cares.


Stalinbear currently resides on the Uncyclopedia:VFP page. He shares the luxurious space with Hitlerbear and is currently overseeing the reminding people to focus on creating a famine.


Anyways, Stalinbear has a cool mustache. A really cool mustache. It is so cool, he can get any girl he wants. That's pretty good, even for a bear. Oh, and he can fly. Did I mention that? Well he can. He also has a large collection of antique lamps.


Stalinbear is in fact not related to Hitlerbear. Stalinbear is somehow related to Joseph Stalin. And Ringo Starr. And Forrest Gump. And Cher. And PantsMacKenzie. Nobody knows for sure how Stalinbear is related to them. He just is.

Who is Stalinbear?[edit]

He's a half-stalin half-bear hybrid made to use less gasoline and raise environmental standards. He also has no belly-button. He has a huge tattoo of a hammer and sickle on his chest.