Star Wars Manifesto

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A long time a ago... (well 1985 actually)

A philosophical and political document written by Mark Hamill in order to get somebody, anybody, to pay the slightest bit of notice to him after 1985.

In it, he proposes the creation of an Ewok State, where little people rule big people, people made of gold are best, and everybody has a pointy stick. The Star Wars Manifesto is now the cornerstone of political thought - although unpopular in academic circles until recently - in countries with no up or down and only three sides.

The basic premise of the Ewok state is that there are no laws and that laws are enforced by large pointy hats hovering 6 feet above the floor suspended in thin air by sustained disbelief, and that this can only be eradicated by trees, hence: Laws are illegal.

Mark Hamill challenges the 'divine right of kings' theory by stating that if you were to place a light saber into a stone "then it would just chop the stone in half wouldn't it though?" [1]

This although making intergalactic trade difficult according to Mark allows a peaceful state because "People only get annoyed when they ain't got stuff, Ennit? Right? So if people all got the same stuff then they cannot get annoyed about having other stuff, Innit?!" [2]

This is difficult to reconcile however when goes on to say "Unless Dem man got Half-Life 4 before it even comes out blood. Then me got to bust them then", [3] but we shouldn't be too hasty here, there is a subtle nuance - in that nobody would be able to 'bust' anybody because pointy sticks are used for prodding and not 'Bust'<ing> people.

The Star Wars Manifesto is difficult for beginning student but is highly rewarding for the intermediate or advanced student of intergalactic politics and comes highly recommended by the lead singer of space with the dodgy teeth as: "Very good... but I dont come from Wales".

Footnotes[edit]

  1. SWM p2 (you actually read this far?)
  2. SWM p6 (blah, blah, blah...)
  3. SWM p7 (actually I made this quote up.)