Stare Wars

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“That's no Smoon

~ Oscar Wilde on Stare Wars

History, Herstory, Itsstory and just pure Story[edit]

Stare Wars was an early 1600s science fiction television series based on the, at the time, exceedingly popular pulp fantasy novel The Bible. Featuring the adventures of Fluke Flystalker, a young man from the dessert (sic) planet Tattooine, it was known as a trilogy and famous for it's villain, Hearth Fader, until a prequel trilogy was released, which totally destroyed the franchise and led to the Seven Little Dwarves suing Wobbegong the Newbie, the old Wizard and Wise Guy of the series, for the discrediting they experienced after having been "intimidated" into playing the small JAVAs that kidnapped the two main 'roids.

The most famous feature of this series, apart from the famous LifeSaver duels, was the main battle of the original episode, I Do Nope, where young Flystalker pilots his Ex-wing (also called an XXX-wing. You can guess why) in the famous battle against the Breath Bar, climaxing in the legendary Breath Bar Drench Run. At the end, Wobbegong also gives one of the most famous lines of the series: "Use excessive force, Fluke". The most loved battle though, was when Fluke fought the gretes of all gods, Chuck Norris.

Cultural and Historical Impact[edit]

It was parodied in 1977 by George Lucas under the name of Star Wars. It was also used as the basis of a inside joke by famous then-President of the Untied States, John F. Kennedy, which was taken literally by officials and led to unnecessary complications, such as the moon landings. It won every Oscar at the Academy Awards, including best music, best movie, and worst screenplay.

Unconfirmed rumours also state that big parts of such works as H.G. Wells's and Freud's where at least partially based upon, if not outright plagiarized from, unfilmed parts of the Stare Wars scripts. Oscar Wilde is also supposed to have mostly based his attitude and quotes upon the character of Khan Sulu, the space swashbuckler and rogue, most especially his exploits in the big unfilmed parts of the scripts.

It is also the direct literal ancestor to the relatively unknown, but immensely important, Star Trak scripts. Indeed, the names of famous characters of Han Solo, from the George Lucas parody, Mr. Sulu and Khan, from the earlier 1960's rip-off, can be traced directly back to the Stare Wars series.


  • Use excessive force, Fluke. - Crazy old man
  • Fluke, I am your barber - History's first ugli villain
  • Beep beep beep beep - Small, Freudian-shaped 'roid
  • Oh, yours! - Golden 'roid in trouble
  • At last, we will reveal ourselves to the Jemi. At last, we will have our revenge - Very creepy red skinned human
  • Howl growl grumble - Big hairy ursine alien smuggler co-pilot making lewd comment
  • Tap this! - Whore with hair the shape of edible goods.
  • Its a Trap! - Fish Like Alien
  • Try not. Do, or do not. There is no Y. - Green midget
  • Love won't save you, Dumbé, only my new powers can do that - Ugliest Villian ever


  • Star Wars - Famous parody
  • Barber - Secret identity of villain
  • Sigmund Freud - Philosopher heavily inspired by this work
  • Oedipus - Dead guy, also inspired by this work
  • NASA - Organization made famous for its tributes to this work, such as space travel
  • Star Trak - Ripoff, albeit with some original ideas incorporated, such as a storyline
  • Star Trek - Direct ripoff of part of the ripoff of the original
  • Star Search - Star Ed MacMahon direct ripoff of the ripoff of the ripoff of the original
  • Stargate - Another Direct ripoff of the ripoff of the ripoff of the origianal