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“Ma! Where's the god-damn protein Ma!”

~ Oscar Wilde on steroids

“You lack discipline!”

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger on steriods

The word "Steroid" refers to the shortened colloquial form of "Asteroid," a large heavenly body floating through space. Close cousins of this organism would be Altoids, Zoids, and Humanoids. Asteroids are usually ingested in mass quantities by athletes, politicians, and people with bad breath to improve their physical performance, increase their body mass, distract their constituents from widespread administrative incompetence, and increase their knowledge of astrophysics.

Creation of Steroids[edit]

Anabolic steroids used to enhance physical prowess and performance were first invented during the Great Time Travel War of 1871 by Albert Einstein. As legend has it, Einstein's inspiration came while watching the movie Who Framed Roger Rabbit. Einstein was so excited by his sudden burst of thoughts and shit that he booked the next plane to Toontown to confront Roger Rabbit himself.

Steroid Use Today[edit]

Recent efforts to curb the use of 'steroids by athletes have resulted in significant increases in 'steroid use by small children, most of whom hope to emulate their heroes by appearing, like them, in front of US congressional subcommittees that have no discernable purpose.

Despite claims to the contrary by doctors, plumbers, and electric-razor designers, ingestion of asteroids is an effective way to increase body mass. Even a small asteroid can contain as much as 1,000 metric tons of material, usually nickel, iron, or soy-based cream cheese substitute. Once fully ingested, a typical athlete can increase in size as much as 14,000 percent in the genital area alone.

Steroids are also officially the favorite snack of ectasy and marijuana.

Of course we all know steroids kick ass. Without them baseball would be more boring then ever before! That's why they sell beer at these baseball games. THEY'RE SO BORING!

Health Benefits[edit]

There are no health benefits really, niall smith has took some when he was only 2 weeks old, then at the age of 10, he threw his brother into the wall.(what a wanker)

Steroids are an important source of antioxidants, vitamins, minerals, cholesterol, and sex.

As well steroids are known to contain high traces of fiberglass that have twice the level of dietary fiber found in normal glass.

The FDA recommends a daily intake of 10mg to 50kt of steroids to benefit from the homeopathic drug.

Also see[edit]