Strikers? Are We Folk!

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

Strikers? Are We Folk are a four piece folk band made up of below average British footballers; Carlton Cole, Carl Cort, Ade Akinbiyi and Franz and The Ferdinands' singer Francis Jeffers.

Members[edit]

Francis Jeffers - lead vocals, cow's arse and banjo

Carlton Cole - Mouth organ and keyboards

Carl Cort - Double Bass

Ade Akinbiyi - Drums

Former Members[edit]

James Beattie

Sean Dundee

Diego Forlan

Early Years[edit]

Strikers? Are We Folk! were formed, in 2001, by footballers James Beattie, Ade Akinbiyi, Carl Cort and Carlton Cole after a conversation between the quartet revealed that they all shared a passion for folk music. A week later the band was formed, much to the general distain of the World's population.

They released their debut album, 'Never Mind, We're Bollocks!' in the summer of 2001. The album included their supprise hit single 'We Couldn't Score In A Brothel', which rocketed up the British charts, reaching a highest position of 578th.

Post Beattie[edit]

In Februrary 2002 James Beattie was sacked from the band for reasons that would only become clear in 2004, when Akinbiyi told the Big Issue that: "His (James Beattie's) lack of talent was laughable, even for us. He was so musicaly inferior that he couldnt hit a cow's arse with a banjo to the level that was required if we were to build on our early promise."

The band quickly hired former Liverpool F.C. flop Sean Dundee, however he was sacked two weeks later after eating the band's supply of pies, on their infamous tour of the West Midlands. The band were forced to continue the tour with only the three members.

In April 2002 'Strikers? Are We Folk!' hired Manchester Red Sox Ltd. striker Diego Forlan. The Uruguayan remained with the band until early September, when he was sacked because it had become apparent that Forlan was only pretending to be shit for the Red Sox, as was proved when he joined Villarreal later in his career. During Forlan's time with the band, they released their long feared second album 'So Long, Fatty', a thinly veiled attack on Beattie. The album was an astounding faliure.

The Jeffers Era[edit]

After the shambles of Forlan, the band decided they needed a proven faliure to get themselves back on track. They found that man in jug-eared cheat, Francis Jeffers.

in November 2002, after a failed attempt to coax Danny Cadamarteri out of his job at the Shell Garage, the band turned to Franz and the Ferdinands' lead singer, Jeffers. Fresh from his success with the Ferdinands, Jeffers took up the offer and joined 'Strikers?', whilst continuing on with the Ferdinands.

Jeffers made his 'Strikers?' debut on the 2002 tour of Chad. Unfortunatley, the tour ended in bloodshed, when Cort slipped in a cowpat on stage and cut his head open. The incident did, however, boost sales of the live album of the tour; 'Live and Disasterous'.

The band are currently penning their third studio album. It is, as yet, un-named.