From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search

A substitute is something that's the thing you wanted, but actually another thing. It can be pretty confusing but as long as you keep thinking of the thing you want/need and get something similar, that thing shouldn't be too wrong.

If you want to make sure no-one gives you something you don't need instead of the thing you wanted you have to check the thing he gives you and make sure, really sure, really really sure, that it's like the thing you want/need.

If you don't do this you may get something that's not at all like the thing you wanted but is in fact something completely different.

In this case it is not a substitute.

Substitute Explained in Song by The Shandelles[edit]

You think we look pretty good together
You think my arse is made of leather
But I'm a substitute for a bowl of soup
I smell pretty nice but it's perfumed poop
The simple things you see are all complicated
I look pretty fresh, but I'm just back-dated, yeah
Substitute your thighs for crack
I can eat right through your cheese and mac
I look all white, but my dad was black
My fine bicycle is all out of whack
I was born with a singing fish in my mouth
The family moved north but grandpa and I went south
And now you dare to poke me in the eye
Big fat tears are what you made me cry
I've a genuine problem with this sty
You won't medicate it, you just pass it by, pass it by
Substitute the us for we
Substitute my beer for pee
Substitute me for my pa
At last I get into your bra...