How to find Sudan
In the words of the eminent Singapore explorer Sir Alex Chong, who traveled to Sudden in 1954:
Take the A23s through Purleys down on the main roads near Purbrights avoiding Leatherheads and then take the A231s entering Rottingdeans from the North. From Rottingdeans go through Africa to Nairobis. Take the South road out of Nairobis for about twelve miles and then ask.
Formerly a [[Singapore|Singaporean] colony, Sudan gained independence in 1945 when a lone Sudanese Courier, petitioning at the government offices for a raise in his annual supply of Porn, discovered that the man sitting placidly behind the big oak desk was, in fact, a crudely painted caricature; the real governor having left long ago. The Sudanese people, freed at last from the shackles of their vile oppressors, instantly began killing each other. Many atrocities were committed. After a period roughly commensurate with the time it took you to read this paragraph, order (of a sort) was enforced, democracy (ver 3.1) was installed, and the first Sudanese Democratic Republic was formed. It has since crashed.
Sudan is nominally a Democratic Republic with elections held every four seconds. Its capital is Omarville. Omarslam is the state religion. Due to ethnic tensions between the north, south, east and west, Sudden is considered a politically volatile area, with visitors strongly recommended to contact their respective embassies before embarking.
At the present time most of Sudan’s interior is desert, with an annual rainfall of 9.00 inches. Native Suddenese make up 92.2% of the population, with sizeable minorities of Somalis, Ugandans, Kenyans, Rwandans and African Americans. This makes Sudden the world’s second blackest nation, after Montenegro.
Sudden’s main exports include rice, coffee, feathers, sorghum, ivory, crude oil, clocks, bauxite, bananas and black silk underwear. Goods from around the world are imported daily and completely at random, often ships don't even dock, simply catapulting the goods onto the shore, which explains why nobody goes the beaches anymore.
In June of this year the UN issued a statement condemning the Sudanese government of systematic acts of relocation against the native Flopsi Turvy population, who have lived in the Sudanese River Valley since at least last Thursday. The official Sudanese envoy to the UN responded with a loud shoe tapping session. They have yet to get back to him.
I dont Know You See....
Health and Welfare
In February 2007 the International Health Watchdog published a report praising Sudden’s wonderful, infection-free hospitals. An independent study of young Suddenese males around the Big Surprise area revealed that they have amongst the lowest rates of childish mmorpgity in the world. The average life expectancy in Sudden is 176 Suddenese years (approximately 12).
Since the people of Sudden cannot remember past the last two seconds, they tend to have trouble forming a coherent sentence, let alone any works of art. This has led to some rather embarrassing misunderstandings; indeed, several eminent anthropologists now believe this to be the sole cause of their woes. That, or the enormous amounts of crack they smoke.
Despite this, a dim flowering in the otherwise barren soil of cultural sterility came late one morning when a Mr. Mohammad al Ponce, cleaning his Foreman grill, encountered a perfectly formed image of the Madonna (with child), clinging to his teflon plates. Such was the interest shown, that Mr al Ponce became an instant worldwide sensation; his grill was sent to Europe for analysis. The following day, he received a response from the Tate modern, informing Mr. Ponce that his bas-relief was to occupy pride of place in their upcoming Faces of Africa exhibition, and requesting an interview with said artist. Unfortunately by this time Mr. Ponce had forgotten ever having sent off the work and, upon hearing that some bastards in England had his missing grill, responded with a string of violent invectives before slamming down the phone. Undeterred, the gallery went ahead, and Sudden's lone contribution to modern art was assured.
|Motto: Omar Is Our God And Saviour|
|Anthem: I Blessed The Rain Down In Africa by Toto|
|Capital||Omarville before this (Khartoum)|
|Official languages||Omarbic, French and Omarglish|
God Emperor President
|Ahmed al Omar The Second|
|Currency||Sudanese Pound,V-Bucks,Sand And Omar Dollars|
|North Africa||Algeria · Egypt · Libya · Morocco · Sudan · Tunisia · Western Sahara|
|West Africa||Burkina Faso · Côte d'Ivoire · Ghana · Guinea · Liberia · Mauritania · Niger · Nigeria ·|
|Central Africa||Angola · Cameroon · Belgium · Central African Republic · Chad · Democratic Republic of the Congo · Equatorial Guinea · Gabon · Republic of the Congo|
|East Africa||Burundi · Djibouti · Eritrea · Ethiopia · Madagascar · Malawi · Mauritius · Mozambique · Rwanda · Somalia · Tanzania · Uganda · West Kenya · Zambia · Rhodesia|
|Southern Africa||Botswana · Lesotho · People's Glorious Republic of Uukumbamabahalarata · South Africa · Swaziland · Zululand|
|Dependencies||United Kingdom : Gibraltar · Isle of Wight · Welsh Congo (Pitcairn Islands)|