Sudocrem

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Those obsessed with so-called experts should thank their lucky stars that Wikipedia does not have an article about Sudocrem.

Sudocrem, a cream traditionally applied to the sore bottoms of infants to ease their pain, has been around for as long as most humans can remember. It has always been known as a very special antiseptic cream, sold in the UK. A simple white paste, or so it would appear.

The fact of the matter is, Sudocrem can cure anything. Got spots? Cover them in Sudocrem, they'll disappear in hours. Got a cut or a scab? Slap some Sudocrem on, it'll be gone in no time. Gots AIDS, cancer or bird flu? Eat a tub of Sudocrem to relieve symptoms in minutes.

Sudocrem is also the cure for death.

So don't bother with doctors, antibiotics or vaccinations, buy a tub of Sudocrem, and live forever!

Sudocrem! Hope for the future!

Time Traveling Experience[edit]

A tub of Sudocrem was once accidentally sent back in time. The tub arrived in London, during the outbreak of bubonic plague. Within 12 seconds of being opened, the Sudocrem had completely wiped out the plague and was beginning work on curing the common cold, until someone rudely interrupted. For that, Sudocrem invented AIDS.

Sudocrem's Strike[edit]

During the long phase starting March 1995 - November 1995. This was mainly because many people refused to believe the true potential. Sudocrem was completely outraged and made sure that their magical properties would not work. Deaths increased over 76% during these long months, but Sudocrem decided that its magical powers were important to the world, so it started working again.

Before this long stage, Sudocrem also cured Down syndrome, but Sudocrem disagreed with curing it in the first place, so they stopped.

Criticism[edit]

Many angry parents have complained about the toxins found in Sudocrem, as in January 1986, four thousand infants were killed by eating Sudocrem. A new Sudocrem was released approximately five seconds later, which was not toxic. Many infants were satisfied.

Exportation[edit]

Sudocrem was once exported to other large countries, such as the USA, but Sudocrem rejected them and decided that their powers were not to go to waste. As a result of this, Sudocrem never became big in these countries.