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"My wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. One or the other of us has to go, but because I am superior, I win by default."

~ Oscar Wilde on Wallpaper

Throughout history, many men have proved their superiority. Of course, these people have been persecuted for what they are, as the ignorant masses throughout history are afraid to acknowledge their own obvious lack of superiority. That is until now, when people are finally starting to acknowledge what they so obviously are, superior. This article proves superiority with great attitude.

Superiority: The Theory[edit]

Superiority is a very strange and complicated theory, that many people would not know about, as they are not superior to everything else. The idea behind the theory is, is that you believe you, or something is superior, and exhibits behaviour typical of a superior person. That is, they believe that they are better than other people and things. Superiority is also defined as 'Being Superior'. Superior is defined as 'Of a higher level and/or quality' hence, superiority is being a higher level or quality.

It is a fact that everybody is absolutely assured of their superiority. All in all this is not such a bad thing, given that it has been statistically shown to reduce the suicide rates in many countries by at least 342% over periods of 12.36 years. However, it is also widely acknowledged that it is only up to those who truly are superior to decide who else is really superior.

How to Deal With Superior People[edit]

Michael Moore: Undoubtedly better than you

Obviously, you do not deal with superior people. Superior people, by their nature are better than you, and so they should be the ones being faced with the burden of dealing with you, not the other way round. Obviously, if they believe they are superior then they are in fact, and so their every wish and command should be followed out exactly.

If you still feel that you need to deal with a superior person, then you are obviously an ignorant, arrogant moron. However, if it gives you closure, then you can deal with the superior being by carrying out his (or her, but most likely his) wishes. This will not only allow you to deal with them, but it shall also gain you favour in the eyes of the superior person, which shall come in handy at the rapture.

What Does Being Superior Mean?[edit]

To be superior means that you are above everybody else. You are essentially perfect just the way you are. This means that you are at an optimum intelligence level, and anybody smarter than you is imperfect, and anybody dumber than you is dumber than you, and should be officially classed as a retard. Your body is perfect. you are the perfect physical specimen, and anybody different is obviously not as good as you. What you like, and what you dislike is what God intended to be liked and disliked, and so if anybody has differing tastes, then they are so obviously incorrect.

This leads to the next point. Being superior gives you the ability to tell people what is right and what is wrong. What is good, and what is bad. Because other people are not superior, they do not know exactly what is good and bad. They must be forgiven for this, as they should not be expected to know, but it is the sole duty of the superior person to tell the world what is good and bad. If you are superior, you have the right to judge. Everybody else is wrong, except you.

Mathematical Explanation[edit]


S=(99x10^99)e x N
(S= Superior being, N= Normal Person)

Flowchart Explanation[edit]

+---------------+           +---------------+
| Is the person |_________\ |   They are    |
|   superior?   |No       / |     wrong     |
+---------------+           +---------------+
|   They are    |
|     right     |

Psuedo-German Explanation[edit]

Überlegenheit gehört denen, die sie verdienen! !

Translation: Superiority belongs to those who deserve it.

Common Misconceptions[edit]

In an effort to point out just how superior a person is, they might often compare themselves to the God or some other form of lesser god. Obviously, the person is only comparing themselves to God in an attempt to show just how elevated they are. Hence, many people believe that the superior person believes they are God. This is not true. The superior person understands the limitations of his or her (but most likely his) superiority, and so obviously realises they are not divine, but God is the closest thing that they can compare their obvious greatness to, and so they do. Obviously considering that no superior people have been smoted by lightning, then God doesn't mind being used as a comparative measure.

Another common misconception amongst un-superior people, is what superiority actually is. Even with the explanation of the theory at the top of the page, the inferior people do not understand it, and so try to prove the superior person wrong. This must be said yet again, superiority is not an act or action, it is a state of being! Hence, when people use silly words, such as "You aren't superior, because you suck at [w/e]" to try and justify there belief in a person not being superior, they are obviously wrong, because they have tried to prove un-superiority through an incorrect means, and simply prove themselves to be even more inferior.

Various Superior People[edit]

Your mother and I are very disapointed in your lack of superiority.